Let me begin like this.........I expect that people in relationships do things for each other. But when we begin to demand things from others, we may be leaving the realm of love. When I am so broken that I am not whole unless you do such and such, then I have a problem. Friends should not have to buy us dinner or loan us money to remain our friends.
If I want something from you, its not love. That is not to say that people should not be there for each other in a relationship, but.
We are so selfish, so self absorbed. If you catch yourself being nice to someone so that they will do something for you, well, then you are busted. Thats not love.
Love means that I care about you whether you give me anything or not. It means that I value you and enjoy you and you dont have to do anything for me. It means that I seek your highest good. I do everything I can to help you and support you, period. My treatment of you is not conditioned on your treatment of me.
Now sometimes we need to practice tough love with teenagers. Sometimes abusive spoused need correction and direction. What I am saying here does not apply to these situations.
All of us know people who have the ability to help us, or to do something for us. I love hanging around with them and just enjoying them. They are not used to it. They are used to being used.
If I am your friend, I dont need for you to buy me a pizza. In fact, I dont want you to go out of your way for me. On the contrary, I want to help you. I want to do something or say something that will make your day go better.
If I need something from you to be happy, then I am not whole. I need to stop, sit down and remember that God loves me and I am ok. I am ok even if you dont do such and such for me. When I am ok, then I enter the relationship whole. I dont depend on you to solve my problems. The love that I offer you is pure and clean. It has no conditions attached.
Its a beautiful day in Gods world, be sure to see the good.
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