It is not easy to be good at welcoming complaints. Most of us hate to have our shortcomings highlighted. If we choose to become defensive in the face of a complaint, then we are making things worse and the situation only escalates.
Recently I had someone stop by to register a small complaint. They were very nervous about doing so, I guess they were afraid that I would not receive them well. [I hope I don't have that kind of a reputation].
Anyway, I listened politely and filled in some of the "rest of the story" for them, and then they were ok.
Sometimes when people complain, they don't see the big picture. Sometimes they are right on the mark and you are busted.
As a young man, I used to get defensive when someone would come in to complain about something. Being defensive never makes anything any better.
Somewhere along the line, I learned something about such confrontations. When someone comes to complain to me, I welcome them, sit them down, and listen. Then I ask the question, "how can you help me to become a better pastor."
It is amazing what happens when you receive someone warmly when they are upset. Your welcome puts them at ease. Your listening gains their trust. Your openness to their correction usually totally befuddles them. People are just not used to being received warmly when they are upset.
So, give this a try. The next time your spouse or one of your kids, or a coworker or whoever has you in their sights, relax. Don't be defensive. Welcome them in to sit down. Listen to them. Ask them how you can do a better job. Even if you are not wrong in the situation, it is a great way to win a friend.
When a man's ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Prov 16:7
It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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2 comments:
Jeff,
Great post. Sometimes the smallest of complaints, can really frame positive conversations.
I am glad our church is a place where everyone matters.
I have really enjoyed your blog. I start my day reading you posts and your words stick with me all day.
DREW
There are people who go way beyond what is expected of them and what is written or implied in their employment job description. You are certainly one of them. The difference between them and you is that your efforts directly provide help and comfort to many people.
I just found out yesterday from some choir members about your blog and boy am I glad I did. I read every word and will now be a frequent visitor to the web site.
Thanks
Hank Teri
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