I read and posted your comment on Monday's blog, July 14th, trusting God.
There are several ways to take your comment, but I assume that you are telling me that you feel far away from God and that you feel "empty, oh so empty."
When you are the pastor, it is hard to know who you can tell such things to. I am personally very thankful for my friends in the congregation who listen to me when I am discouraged, but I know that not every pastor has those kinds of people in his or her church.
I want you to know that you are not alone. I have had such times, and any other pastor that is honest with themselves will have to admit that there have been times when they felt so very far away from God. We all know that it is a very painful thing to stand up on Sunday morning when you are supposed to speak for the Lord, but you are empty and hurting inside. Those are terrible moments.
Besides the fact that other ministers stand with you, you yourself mentioned in your comment that God already knows of your situation. Indeed God does know. And God stands by your side to help you in this painful time.
Let me offer some thoughts.
Go spend a couple of hours at the park. Sit in silence. Do not take anything to read. Listen to the wind. Listen to the water. Listen to the trees. Feel the sunshine and feel the air. Relax. Let out your sorrows. Speak to the Lord of your pain. God waits to hear your struggle. Get it all out. Then listen. You will hear his voice.
Get the wheels to slow down. Skip your kids soccer practice. Move the trustees meeting. Get back in touch with your soul.
I want you to know that I will be glad to spend some time with you if it will help. I don't care whether we have agreed on every issue in the past. If I can help you during this time, call my home phone. The number is in the conference journal. I have time for you later today or tomorrow or next week. Just call.
It's still a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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1 comment:
Jeff, You are so fortunate and I say this and the following out of love. You have been in one congregation for several years sharing a lot of laughter and tears. You have developed friends that only time can allow to happen. I mean close friends. Those people who you can call on a moment's notice for a cup of coffee, those people who you respect and respect you. All are not so fortunate to have had the time to establish those types of friendships within a congregation. Those who don't have these friendships can feel very vulnerable, who can you trust. I cannot remember the last time someone called to invite me to coffee or lunch. It just doesn't happen for me, maybe it's due to lack of respect. Remember during the first years of an appointment, you don't know who to trust or whose opinion you respect. As for other pastors, well I guess the same applies. All churches have good caring people as well as many good caring pastors. The trick is figuring it out. Sometimes Christians can be the most uncaring and lacking in Grace, though this doesn't apply to you or your congregation I think you are so fortunate to be able to sit under a tree, listen to the birds, feel the wind and wait on God. For me it seems very disrespectful to God to look to the internet for sermons rather than depend upon the Holy Spirit as one example. The Holy Spirit seems so distant and it is a real struggle. Pastors shouldn't feel this way. I even have a hard time just praying. I will hang in there as long as I can though it is probably a matter of how long is long. Thanks for your thoughtful note/post.
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