Are your friendships built on expectancy or expectation?
I had bookmarked this page of a book I read recently so that I could come back to it one day.
The writer says that a friendship has an expectancy…when we see each other we expect certain things to happen like conversation, laughter etc. He explains, “Expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else.” But when it changes to expectation……..”Suddenly, law has entered into the relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets the expectation of another. The living friendship deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or responsibilities of a good friend.” he continues…..“Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value."
It is hard to live up to someone’s expectations. These are words of wisdom for friendships/relationships to live by.
Peace,
Lion’s Den Man
2 comments:
In the category of "Food for Thought," this is definitely one to ponder. Much to consider. Which kind of friend am I and what kind of friedship do I expect from others?
Could you post the name of this book?? I'd like to read it. Thx.
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