care or control

I read a very interesting article last week about churches that care and churches that control. Or, I guess I should say, churches that try to control.

Obviously it is the job of the church and the Pastor and staff to care for its members. When the church does this, everybody feels good about what is happening. Keep in mind when I say "care" I don't mean 'entitle." Part of caring for members means that we need to help them find and retain an outward, other focused life view. With that in mind, Pastor's need to love their folks and be patient with them.

Sometimes though, Pastors, churches, denominations try to control their people. Here are some examples:
"good Christians believe this or that about the trinity." "Good Christians believe this about a certain social issue." "Good Christians must do this or that."

Now I do believe that when we are listening, that we sometimes behave differently, but the issue is should the church use guilt and shame to try to force people to act in certain ways. Somehow, I do not see Jesus shaming people into certain behavior.

Fact, is, you just can't control your members. They are going to read books that you just know are bad for them. They are going to watch TV shows that you do not agree with. They are going to support causes that you think are less than Christian. They are even going to decide that they need to move on to another church. As a pastor, you can't stop this, and to the extent that you try, you only make yourself and others miserable.

When we remember that our job is to love people, we release ourselves from wishing everything was a certain way. I choose to just love. Period. You love that author? Ok, no problem. You only come to church once per month? Ok, I still love you.

Control does not work. Manipulation and guilt are bad motivators. Love is the the thing that holds us together. Love is the only thing that matters. God is love.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.