I am sorry, I was stupid.
Sometimes I cannot write about what is going on with me because I don't think that you want to hear about my stupidity. Like all people, I don't want to show my backside to people. But this is so bad, I have to tell someone how stupid I was.
By the way, when my children were young, no one in our house was allowed to say the word "stupid". It is just too painful and insulting, but today, I wear it well.
It was Memorial Day. My wife and I went to Mt. Washington cemetery. There we ran into two of my cousins. We had a nice visit. My cousins told me among other things that my sister in California was sick and was under going some tests.
Later that week I called my sister. I left a message. She called back and caught me at a time that I could not talk. [too busy with church stuff] Over the next three weeks, I called her and she called me and we played phone tag. Fifteen times during those three weeks I thought about calling her but I was too busy and here is where the stupid part comes in. My sister is sick, and I am too busy being the pastor to get her called and make the connection.
I am ashamed. Last night we finally made connection. She has lost 60 pounds and while that is good, she keeps losing past her goal weight. The doctors cannot figure out what is wrong. They tell her that she does not have cancer but so far they cannot diagnose her. She goes to see another one on Thursday.
I am sorry that I was so busy doing church stuff that I neglected to get my sister called. Please pray for her, her name is Amy.
And today we rise to a new opportunity. Thank you God that we are not bound by yesterday's mistakes.
It is a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
3 comments:
Wow! I feel for you. The scenario you described could almost be considered normal human behavior for the rest of us, but for a pastor......I don't know. We, the "regular people" tend to hold "your kind" to a higher standard. But, we're wrong to do that. You're one of us. You mess up like we do from time to time. Don't beat yourself up--forgive yourself and continue to stay in contact with Amy and her family.
I hope doctors will find the cause of her weight loss soon and get it under control. I will definitely pray for her.
I'm so sorry you feel stupid. This unfortunately is the type of stupidity a lot of us suffer from. Family is typically the ones that suffer from our stupidity because they are family. Doesn't excuse it and doesn't make it better, just seems to be that way. However we do try harder afterwards to not let it happen again. Your sister, and you, will be in my prayers.
Tonia
Hold on here for a minute. We don't allow anyone, including you, to call our Jeff stupid. Besides, each of us has times when we wish we'd taken a different step or action, but God doesn't make junk, so don't go calling one of His stupid.
Besides, I would bet that your sister saw your repeated chances at trying to reach her through phone tag, as a sign of your love for her. That's what she'll remember.
We will pray for Amy.
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