I have been feeling a little guilty this week. As I have been feeling better, I have been able to do more things. I have returned to work in the mornings, I am able to get out in the yard and water my [God's] flowers, and I have attended a couple of social engagements.
Last night I was invited to a get together of friends. On the way over to this person's home, I felt guilty. My brain thought things like this:
"I don't deserve to feel better. I don't deserve to have fun with friends. What about the other sick people that I know? They don't get to have fun."
If you think that this is odd thinking, so do I. I fully intend to recover my brain and my comfort in returning to normal life. However, the feelings of guilt do drive me to an important thought:
"Do I deserve to be healthy? Do I deserve to have friends? Wow, Jeff, you take so much for granted."
One day soon I will go to a friend's house and think nothing of it. One day soon I will lift over 20lbs and think nothing of it. This is a problem. It is a problem because we take so much for granted. We don't pause to thank God for our blessings. For our friends, for our health.
Are you going somewhere tonight or this weekend? Hanging out with friends? Thank God. Acknowledge him. Do you feel well this morning? Thank God. Acknowledge him. Don't take anything for granted, but instead let us strive to be appreciative and grateful.
It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
4 comments:
Jeff,
I am glad you are feeling better. I am glad that, when I talk to you on the phone, you sound more and more like yourself. I am sorry that you would ever feel as if you "don't derserve to feel better". That you "don't deserve to have fun with friends". A little guilt is probably good. (A lot of guilt is probably destructive.) Thank you for reminding me not to take things for granted. I am grateful for, and appreciative of, you.
eb
I thank God every morning when I hear the breath of my children...and at nap time... or my husband's light snore... or his return from work and I know this is not often enough and I often feel that I don't deserve these wonderful things in my life. THANK YOU GOD for allowing these blessings!!
Jeff, I have not felt guilty (maybe I should), but I find myself being so grateful for everything about my life since I returned from New Orleans. The "big deals" now don't seem so important to me. I am so grateful for my good health, especially since I lost a good friend this week who was my age. I wake up every morning thanking God. Betty
Jeff,
I have missed so many of your last posts - I am so happy to hear you are feeling so much better!
Take care,
Kara
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