Ways that we practice our faith:
Thinking.
Thinking. I am thinking about God. About the trinity and how it works. About spiritual gifts and what they mean and how they work. My mind is full of thoughts about what God is like, how faith works, and I am trying to make systematic sense of it all. The mental trash truck is rolling up and down the streets of my mind, filling my soul with the jarring noise of my own mental nonsense.
Judging others.
You are good. No, you are bad. You shouldn't do that. Why do they do that. What are they thinking. Don't they know that they are not pleasing God? They are not good Christians. How can they go to church and believe that? Look at that tattoo. Boy he needs a haircut, and Dude, buy some jeans without holes will you? Your music is terrible. You drink too much. You need a bath. I am better than you are. Get a job. Lose some weight. [Isn't this terrible?]
Neurotic worry.
I am bad. I did it wrong. I sinned again. God hates me. I am a bad Christian. I will never amount to anything. My mom was right. I am never going to be a successful adult human. Everything I touch falls apart. I am bad. I am a bad person. I have to work harder so that I don't go to hell.
Good works.
Lets get busy. I must save the world. Go, go, go. Do, do, do. I must make God happy. Do all the right things. Participate in all the missions programs. Do, do, do.
submission.
Nothing else that I have done has brought me the sense of completion in God that my soul craves. I give up. I give up trying to think or do or be. I am just falling hopelessly, helplessly into the loving arms of Our Father. And in so doing, I find what I have been seeking. I am at rest. I am complete. I am in touch with my soul and it is happy. I may not always feel His presence, but I know He is there and I am just resting in Him. From this place of rest in Him, submission, I find the inertia to live the Christian life. Loving, doing, caring, for all the right reasons. Thinking when necessary, love overshadows all. My life has become a celebration. At night I sleep the sleep of the saved. I just had to give up and rest in Him.
It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
2 comments:
Thanks Jeff,
this was so timely today. Just what I needed to hear.
clif dancy
Hey Jeff. Most of the time, I nod along in agreement with your blogs. Blogs like today, I have to read 3 or 4 times because they are saying things I haven't even thought of, and they're hitting really close to home. I'd like to find that place where I stop trying to "figure God out". I'm also a neurotic worrier.
So anyway. Thanks for putting effort into the blog. Sometimes I come here expecting to read something comfortable, and I get challenged. And if I'm open to being challenged, I might grow -- or just let go of some of the crap I mistake for spirituality.
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