How am I really?

One of my readers lives in California.  She is a very special person to me.  Although we don't talk often, I think of her often and I am grateful for the impact that she has made on my life.

She wrote in the other day and said, "Each day I read your post and wonder how you really are....For sure what I read is from your heart and it generally gives me the feeling of your vulnerability. You are so "open" and I wonder how helpful that is to you and why you venture out there so far."

I appreciate her comments and thoughts. I wanted to write a bit about this topic.
Henry David Thorough wrote, "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."  I think we all know the angst that life can bring: something ended too soon.  Something didn't turn out the way we had hoped.  Some folks go from one job to the next, one person to the next, expecting that happiness is just around the corner.

I want you to know that in this life I have had much joy.  I have been a father, I have been a friend, I have been involved in helping others.  I have been a part of organizations that have made the world a better place.  I have loved and been loved.  All of these things bring me joy.

But for me, part of what I do, and how I choose to live, grows out of some very difficult questions that I keep asking myself.  Why am I here?  How much longer do I have?  Why is this situation the way it is?  How can I make something better?  Who can I care about for you today?

I guess what I am saying is that somehow, angst and meaning go together.  From the depths of a time of struggle, a new sunrise can emerge.  From the hard questions of life, emerge moments of clarity and joy.

I wish I could save myself and all of you from the introspection and the hard questions, but in my experience they are the path to meaning, purpose and joy.

How am I really doing?  Good.
I have my questions, and I have my wishes, but it is all good.  It is all very good.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.