what not to say, what to say

At the time of a death we humans often want to say something to make things better for our friends who are grieving.  But there are some things that should not be said.  Please don't say the following. [and I have heard each of these...]

He looks better.
You look terrible.
He is in a better place.
Remember you have your children that need you.
It was God’s will.
It must have been his time.
How are you going to carry on?
How are you fixed financially?
Life goes on.
You know he is going to hell.
Are you taking any medication?
I know how you feel.

At least he’s no longer in pain.
You are young, you can marry again 

Don’t ask, “how did he die?”
Don’t call the person the deceased. They had a name. Everyone is uncomfortable, don’t act out of your discomfort or nervousness.
Don’t overdo your emotions.  Don't make it about you.

If those are things not to say, here are things to say. Here are things to do...

Do go whenever possible.  You in person is always better than a text.

Keep your visit short.  Keep it quiet.  Keep it positive.  Remember at a visitation, there are 130 people in line behind you that all want to offer their love to the grieving.  Move on, don’t hover.

Remember that your presence is the gift.  The ambiance of you there is enough.  But if you need to say something, here is what to say... it's short, but it is enough.
I love you.
I am sorry. 

hug them.

It's a beautiful day in God's world be sure to see the good.
Send replies to jsbrink57@gmail.com

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I am leading a trip to Ireland next year. If you are interested in reading about it, or joining in, the link is below.....

Treasures of Ireland
July 13-22, 2020
http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/tours/ir20071320a17768#eotours