Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a new term for me, but I experienced it in a relationship when I was in college.  I dated a girl for 18 months.  She had a unique way of convincing me that I was wrong.  I began to feel that I was stupid and that she was much smarter than I was.  I finally recognized the relationship as unhealthy and broke it off.

Gaslighting.

The term comes from a movie entitle "Gaslight" 1944 where a husband tries to convince his wife that she is crazy.  He manipulates the gas lights at the house so that they dim every time he leaves.  That is why this term is called gaslighting.

It basically refers to an abusive behavior where one person in a relationship discounts the thoughts and feelings of another.  The perpetrator will belittle the other person's thoughts and feelings and insist that the perpetrator's way of thinking is the only right way.  This behavior is manipulative and results in confusion, loss of confidence and ultimately the destruction of the target person's self esteem.

In healthy relationships, everyone's thoughts and feelings matter.  No one is belittled.  If you are doing this to someone, stop it.  If you are the victim of this behavior, address it.

Everyone has a right to their thoughts and feelings.  In fact, in healthy relationships, open communication regarding thoughts and feelings is encouraged.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to find the good.