The doctor called today. It's not fungus.
..................................................................its not fungus..............................
great.
Bang. That was the sound of my heart hitting the bottom of my soul. Fear rushes back in. I have held it off for several days, but now hope is dashed and fear is back.
Fear steers a Christian toward prayer. Some of the most heartfelt prayers are delivered by souls that are at the end of themselves. Two years ago, I was at the end of Jeff. Bad trials can take you down to the quick.
I prayed in ways that I have never prayed before. Yes to be healed, yes that it was not cancer, but I also prayed that I can trust in God no matter what. I pray for my wife. I pray for my children. I pray for the church.
There is a song that I have just become familiar with in 2005, and I find myself singing it over and over again:
Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord, Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
And blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005. That was then. This is now. Thank God.
It's a beautiful day in God's world. Be sure to see the good.
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1 comment:
Jeff,
This was also the day that a much loved couple in the church was experiencing the pain of the bottom of their souls. You performed a funeral service on this day two years ago. You gave this couple and their family and friends the gift of the comfort of your soul. I sat with you that day and you didnt know me. You shared with me how great it was to go the Ren. festival and listen to your daughter sing and just be in the moment. When you were at the bottom, you gave to others. I am thankful for you.
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