anxiety

For a number of years I have been trying to put my finger on the brand of anxiety that I feel from time to time.  And I am not alone.  I know of many people my age and older who struggle with this type of anxiety.  It is hard to name - it is hard to put your finger on it.

But a few weeks ago, I had a nice talk with my old friend Kyle Hern.  He named this anxiety.  He hit the nail on the head...  He called it:

The anxiety that we feel when we lose what we were.

I could make that line into a song with verses and a chorus refrain...

I don't look like I used to look.
I am not in the physical shape that I used to be.
I continue to lose muscle mass.
I cannot carry or climb big ladders.
and that's the anxiety that we feel when we lose what we were.

My children have grown and moved away...
my children don't need me like they used to...
my purpose used to be raising children, now I have no purpose.
I was connected to my children, now I am less so...
that's the anxiety that we feel when we lose what we were.

I don't have that job any more.
No one looks to me for answers.
I have lost my ability to create income.
The sense of value that I got from working is gone.
The anxiety that we feel when we lose what we were.

I am no longer wanted.
I feel alone
I feel sad
I feel like less than what I was
and its the anxiety that we feel when we lose what we were.

yes, the anxiety that we feel when we lose what we were.

And although I feel these things, and maybe you do as well, it is our responsibility to fight off such feelings.  For me, identifying them, and naming them helps me.  But it is a constant challenge to see the good, and so we continue the daily battle to fight off the worries and look for the good.  It is still all around us, just in different ways.

Just because we are not what we were, doesn't mean that what we are today does not matter!!!

It is still a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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