Hook

A hook usually has a barb on the end so that the fish cannot get off easily.  And so there is the phrase, "to let someone off the hook."  Imagine how a fish feels when he or she is on the hook.  "Uh-oh, what just happened to me?  Panic.  Tugging.  Pain.  I can't breathe.  Please please please let me off the hook."

You can let the fish off the hook and throw him back in.  You can also let people off of the hook.  And when you do so, it is a joyful thing.  A subcontractor on one of the jobs was ugly and angry to me.  I wasn't involved in what he was upset about, I was just his target.  I just kept being nice to him.  Later, he apologized for taking it out on me.

I let him off the hook.  "No worries my friend."

It feels good to let people off the hook.  To forgive them, to release them.

Who has done you wrong?  Let them off the hook.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

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the waif

I was working a job in Springfield.  There was a large trailer that I was pulling around.  It was 6:30 AM

and I was going out to get in the truck to drive to the job. It is dark.  Early morning dark.  It is also cold so I have all of my winter gear on. 

I’m around behind the SUV checking the trailer and this person comes around the front of the vehicle and starts talking to me. It scared the Doodoo out of me. I feel panic. I am assessing the threat. This is unusual. What is this about?

It’s a small, thin woman and she’s not really making sense. I ask her what this is about. She finally helps me understand that she wants $3 to buy a pack of cigarettes.   I gave her five dollars.  Then she wanted a ride to the store.  I took her there.  I waited in the car and then drove her back to the hotel which is a block away. 

It is hard for me to tell but there is something "off" about her.  Is she slow?  Is she on drugs?  In addition to her pack of cigarettes, she bought a tall boy beer.  I dropped her off at the hotel and gave her 20 bucks.  Her name was Christine.

I tell you this story because I want to combat the attitudes that say "don't give them money, they will only buy beer."   That is exactly what she did, she bought cigarettes and beer.  So what?  This poor woman doesn't function like a normal person.  Most homeless people don't.  I was glad to help her.  I was glad to give her what she wanted.

There are a lot of broken people out there who are much worse off than we are.  Doing something nice for them can only be a good thing.

Mercy always rejoices over judgment.  James 2:13

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

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alarmist

I have to stop watching the news.  The national new is alarmist.  "OH, NO! THE SKY IS FALLING." 

They say it is going to snow 12 inches, and it snows 1/2 inch.  Evidently all of Florida is in the hospital with covid-19.

Part of my problem with the national news is the incorrect, over exaggerated information.  My other problem is the alarmist tone that the information is delivered in.

Every time I watch the news, when I am done, I have to take a deep breath and find my peace again.  It's like they want us to be worried about everything.

I for one, do not want to worry.  I don't want to be worked up about everything.

When I was a kid, one of my Dad's old sayings was, "what will we do if bread gets up to $1 a loaf?"  His answer was, "we will buy bread."

Don't let the alarmists rob you of joy.  We need to step out onto the playing field of life with a peaceful heart so that we can be good to people and good to ourselves.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

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Lebanon

A few weeks ago I drove from Springfield, MO to Jefferson City.  The route took me through Lebanon where we lived from 1989-1991.  I drove by the old house.  I thought it looked pretty good.  We paid $52,000 for that house.  Cathy and I cried when we were approved for the loan.

There used to be a cupola on top

I built this now rusty fence in 1989 to keep the girls safe.
Our first pets, Dabney the dog and Felix the cat are buried
to the left of the gate.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that the deck
that I built with roofed in area was still
standing after 30 years.

Dad and Jenny on that deck - 1991

I was 32 when we lived there.  Now I am 64.  Half a lifetime away... My how the time flies by so fast.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Not a fan

I have never been a fan of political correctness.  Now I understand that some things are demeaning, and I don't want anyone demeaned.  I agreed with renaming the Washington "Redskins."  But the Cleveland Indians?  What is next?  Will the Chiefs have to become something else?

Robert E. Lee is being melted down...

All of these statues are coming down.  Ok, I get it that they maybe should not be in the main square, in the main street of town, but melt them down?  Some of these works of art depict slave owners, but they also depict a time in our history.  We should not forget our history.  I wish instead of melting them down, they would create a park called, "Times to remember."  Then anyone that wanted to go see them, at least they could.

I read today that the statue of Teddy Roosevelt is being removed from the front of the Museum of Natural History.  At least they are not going to destroy the statue.  It is being moved to Teddy's presidential library.  Finally some common sense.

I am not a fan of racism or colonialism, but we cannot erase our past.  If we forget the past, we are doomed to repeat it.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

If I want something from you

 

If I want something from you, it is not love.  True love is completely selfless.  I have a long way to go in this department, but let's all keep trying.  Love should not be about me having what I want, it should be about me being good to you.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Don't lose them

I used to be close to that person. I had a bond with them in the past.
Then they started doing some things that I did not agree with. I thought, "I am done with you."

Then the other day I thought of them. I realized that I still love them. That bond is still there. Yes they annoyed you. Yes maybe they did something to hurt you. Yes maybe there’s some things that you don’t like about what they’re doing but don’t lose the bond because they’re not perfect. Forgive them. Release them.  It is hard to find people to connect with on this life.   Don't hold a grudge. Try to keep the bonds alive.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Love

Too many Christians are spending way too much time on being right, being correct, being judgmental and being exclusive.  

Do you remember the song,  And they'll know we are Christians by our love?  Do you want to know who the Christians are that get it?  FOLLOW THE LOVE.

In my old age, I am done with doctrine.  I am done with right belief.  I am done with thinking that I am right or even that God cares if we are right.  I desire to be completely done with judgment and exclusivity.  Lord help us.

I want only to love and show kindness. Lord help us all so to be.

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  John 13:34-35

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

reach them

Too much of life is lived in shallow platitudes. How are you? Fine. How are you? Fine. Have a nice day. You too.

What if we learned to say such things with more meaning?   How can we do this?  First, linger for a moment.  Don't just speak and walk on.  Linger.  Look them directly in the eye.  Change the inflection of your voice.  Smile.  Maybe ask their name and use it.

Each of these steps will make for a much more meaningful greeting.  

Name, linger, look, inflection, smile.  It's not that hard.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Someone hug me

My granddaughter Bella-D has moved to Chicago.  She has also started daycare.  After 16 months of being only with her mother, father and grandparents, she is off to daycare.

Somedays, she cries.  I think that is understandable.  New place, strange people and where is my momma?

So evidently at the daycare there is this boy... and anytime Bella-D cries, he hugs her.

I wish someone would hug me when I cry.  I wish we all had someone to hug us when we cried.  If you are hurting today, I hug you from afar.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Forgiveness

Forgiveness.  I could probably write about this topic every day and have more readers.  It is so so important.

Forgiveness is not just a virtue of the brave, it is a virtue of those who wish to live a healthy life.  It is a virtue of those who wish to live a life of joy.  It is the characteristic of those who refuse to be bound by their past.  It is a characteristic of those who make the conscious choice to rise above their wounds.  I seek to be such a person.

Recently I was listening to TED talk about growing up.  If you want to listen to is, it is entitled, "growing up" it was first aired on NPR on the TED radio hour on Aug 1, 2014.

here is the link to the talk

Anyway, this guy who was given up for adoption as a baby, was adopted by a family who subsequently give him back to the system when he was about 10 years old.  In his twenties, he realized something that struck me as profound.  "If I am going to know how to forgive in this life, I have to forgive the people that hurt me the most."

As I was listening and driving, I started to cry.  I decided for the first time in my life, that I was going to forgive my mother.  "Mom, I here, in writing, and in my heart, forgive you."

I loved this guy's wisdom and it made sense to me.  If I would forgive anyone, I must forgive her.

And so I decided to visit someone that had hurt me in the past.  I simply wanted to say, "Hi, how are you?  It's good to see you, and I wish you well."  You see, I know that they have been suffering a bit over what happened between us, and I wanted to release them.  I wanted them to know that I was ok.  I wanted them to know that I have let it go.  I wanted them to have one less thing to worry about.

So I made the visit and it went great.

If you want to be able to forgive in this life, start with the person that hurt you the most.  It is a very freeing experience.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Disappointment

Welcome to the town of disappointment, please don't stay too long.

I have realized something recently that is a bit troubling to me.

In my lifetime, I have disappointed a lot of people.  Members that needed me and I was not there for them.   Moving from one church to the next.  When I moved from Princeton/Mercer to Woods Chapel, I disappointed some members.  When I moved from Woods Chapel to Cape Coral, I disappointed a lot of members.  When I left Cape Coral after six months, I disappointed some of the folks there.  When I quit Ft. Pierce First, I disappointed some folks.

I hate disappointing people.  I love you all and I want to make everyone in the world happy.  Impossible, I know, but I still want to bless people.

There is an old saying, "everyone's behavior makes sense if you have enough information."  So here is some of the backstory.

When I left Princeton/Mercer, I had the chance to move back to my home town, to get my kids near their Grandparents and to make an important career move.  Even pastors make career moves.  I think most everyone understood all of that, but still, some were disappointed.

When I left Woods Chapel after 22 years, I was trying to get my family back together.  I think everyone understood that, but still, some were disappointed.

When I left Cape Coral, I was near a mental breakdown.  I was as low as I have ever been in my life.  There are/were reasons for this that I was never able to explain... no, I chose not to explain the reasons.  A few people were ecstatic that I was leaving, some were disappointed.  I am sorry that I disappointed you guys.

When I quit First UMC Ft. Pierce, there were reasons for this.  I could not continue.  It had nothing to do with the members.  I loved the members and I still do.  For that matter, I have loved the members at every church I have ever served.

My point here is simply to say that I had real, important reasons for every move that I have had to make in my life.  I am sorry that some of my decisions disappointed some of you.  I am sorry that I was too busy.  I am sorry that I was often lost in my own "stuff."  But on the good side of that, when you disappoint someone, it means that they care about you and they wanted you to hang around and be there.

Be there for everyone that you can, for as long as you can.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

The brown dress

Anthony Demello tells the story about an eight year old girl who walks into the room wearing a pink dress.  Everyone ooo's and ahhh's over her pink dress.  The girl smiles.  Her heart is full.  She is on cloud nine.

The next day she comes in wearing a brown dress and the result is the opposite.  Her parents, her brothers and sisters belittle her.  That is a terrible color they say.  The girl hangs her head.  Her heart is crushed.

The moral of this story is that we give people way too much power over us.  You don't like it that I am wearing a gray shirt?  Too bad for you.  You don't like it that I don't believe it like you do?  Too bad for you.  You don't like it that I drive a black car?  Too bad for you.  You don't like it that I am a KU fan?  Too bad for you.

Our self esteem cannot be put into the hands of others.  God tells us that he loves us, and that ought to be enough.  Live your life and enjoy your life.  Don't let the approval or disapproval of others measure your feelings about yourself.

And on another note, be mindful of how what you say to another human being can affect how they feel.  Negativity always hurts.  Don't let it hurt you, and don't use it to hurt others.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Restore their dignity

My friend Sherry G sent me this Max Lucato quote: "It is a wonderful thing to restore art, antique cars, or dilapidated houses. But it is a holy thing to restore human dignity."

That is what being kind does.  That is what loving people does.  It restores a person's dignity.  It restores their self esteem.  It restores their soul.

Kindness is the key.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Hatefulness

Some years ago, I had to release someone from employment.  This is never easy, and there are always people, church members that don't understand.  But a church has the same issues as a business and when someone is underperforming, you do what you can to help them, and if you can't help them, eventually they have to move on.  Never easy.

Anyway, when I had to let this person go, there was one person in particular that was not just angry, they were hateful.  Their behavior really hurt me.  Their personal connection to the employee was obviously much more important to them than the performance of the employee which was substandard for all to see.

Now I am writing about this to let you know that every time I think of the hatefulness delivered by that member, it still hurts.  Years later, hatefulness continues its wound.

Moral of this story- if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  Never be hateful.  The residual effects of hatefulness go on way into the future.

Nice is better, even quiet is better.  Please don't wound others.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Lost Friends

So from time to time, I look for my friends from the past.

I have no friends from Jr Hi or Sr Hi that I am connected to.  I have one friend from college, Roger Horne that I can stay in touch with.  Roger by the way is an awesome human.  A very talented athlete.  A Pastor in Lees Summit.  Super guy.

I would like to find my best friend in Jr Hi, Mark Stanton.  I would like to find my best friend in Sr Hi, Mark Flammer.  I would like to find my college room mate, Dallas Moore, formerly from Bethel Ohio.

I am not sure why my brain goes back, or is it my heart??? that wants to catch up with these old friends.

If you know them, tell them that I am looking for them.

And if we are friends, and we probably are if you read this stuff... let's stay in touch.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

the non-anxious presence

I don't know who coined the phrase, "the non-anxious presence."  But I love it.  There is so much anxiety in the world.  So much anger, so much stress, so many people reacting instead of acting.

What if we could all be "a non-anxious presence." 

 Your son is injured... the situation needs a non-anxious presence.  Your daughter is moving out of state... the situation needs a non-anxious presence.  Your mother in law falls down the stairs... the situation needs a non-anxious presence.

Imagine the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, you are the one that is saying to everyone else, "everything is ok."  

Think of the most stressful thing in your life.  Today, when you walk into it, tell everyone that there is a solution.  Tell everyone that we will figure it out.  Tell everyone that being upset won't help.  Be the non-anxious presence.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

grief

One of my favorite authors likes to say, "all grief is about you."

Now this is one of those sayings that I hate.  But I also recognize that there is some truth in it.  When we are grieving, we are self consumed.  When we are grieving we think about our loss.  When we are grieving it is because we are facing a change, and a change that we don't prefer.

I don't like this saying, but thinking of it helps me.  The pain that I feel is my pain.  I miss that person, I don't care for that change.  The world is not aligning itself to making me happy.

I hope that our grief is short and that we can rise from the grief and tell everyone that everything is ok.

Grief and all, it's still a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

the pre-tip tip

So imagine that you are out to eat.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, it does not matter.  You know that you are going to tip 20% anyway.  But you decide to be extra nice.  

When the server comes to your table to say hello, you hand her or him $5.  They say, [and they will] "what is this for?"  You tell them, "this is the pre-tip tip." 

Then you go on and have a nice meal and tip them your 20%.  You just gave them one of the best moments of their day.  And if you are out with me for a meal and I don't do this, remind me.  Sometimes I forget.

The pre-tip tip.  Try it!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

The Christmas Red Truck

 The Christmas Red Truck has taken over our house.  My wife did this red truck thing.  When she was younger, our decorations were all cows.  Now at Christmas, it is red trucks.

Red Hot Wheel Truck
Red Ceramic Truck w tree in back

Red truck w tree placemats

Christmas card to Scott

Table Runner Red Truck

A real red truck with tree.
Don't tell my wife that you can actually do this...

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure