I have to live with myself

I have to live with myself.

I have had a number of opportunities lately to steal from people.  I didn't do it.  I was raised by Lutherans and I just can't do it.

I paid for groceries with a $50 bill.  The woman gave me change for $100.  I very quietly pointed out her error.  She was very grateful.

A man came to the house to buy a $60 item.  He was older and gave me two twenties and a $50 bill.  I pointed it out to him.  He was appreciative.  I told him that I had to live with myself.  He said that he did too.

I was a guest at a club.  When I was leaving I stopped by the men's room.  As a decoration in the men's room they had a bunch of hats.  One stuck out as particularly attractive.  I put it on.  I thought, I could just take this.  But then I thought about how I would feel every time that I wore it.

When I was a kid I stole a plastic hand grenade from the Ben Franklin Five and Dime store on Wornall Road.  I couldn't play with it because I didn't want my mom to know where it came from.  A few weeks later when we returned to the store, I put it back.  I was 8 years old.  I have to live with myself.

A few weeks ago I sold an item for $125.  When the guy came to buy it he only had $115.  It seemed like an honest mistake on his part, or was it a scam?  I didn't care.  I let him have it for $115.  Thirty minutes later he was back at the front door.  He had gone to the ATM and got some cash.  He said, "you know, things in my life are going really well right now and I don't want to mess with that karma."

Whatever you think or don't think about karma, I think it is true that what goes around, comes around.  What you give to others, will eventually return to you.  Cast your bread upon the waters and it will return to you.

We have a choice every day to take from others or to invest in the world in a constructive manner.  I don't know about you, but I choose to make the decisions that are good for my soul and good for the world.  

On second thought, I do know about you.  If you are reading this, you probably have very similar stories.

It's a beautiful, memorable day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

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tomorrow

One of the beautiful things about life is the truth that "tomorrow is another day."  And this is why we should wake up with gratitude.  Not everyone gets to have tomorrow.  But if we do get to have tomorrow, then tomorrow is a day that we can do better.  Tomorrow will become today and we can try to atone for yesterday's foolishness.

To wake up to a day and make better choices is always good.  Yes.  Yesterday's choices hurt people.  You can say you are sorry, but sometimes that doesn't fix it.  But you can get up and do better this day and tomorrow.

Sometimes when we see the worst of ourselves, it motivates us to be better.  And better is always better.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

Mortified

Do you ever have a day that you wish you could erase?  Have you ever behaved in a manner that you embarrassed yourself?

That was me not too long ago.

I want to tell you how I feel about that:  I don't ever want to do that again.  I don't ever want to hurt people again.  I don't know what got in to me.  I feel like a complete loser.

This is pretty brutal stuff, but I put it out there just in case I am not the only one.  

I assume that I will be forgiven for what I said, but there is no guarantee.  I want to crawl in a hole and hide from life.  I am wondering how long it will take for me to forgive myself?

We all have choices to make every day.  I am going to make better ones.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

If you don't say it

I learned this from my friend Pat Starke.  He lives in San Diego most of the time.  I miss him.

He once said, if you think something good, and you don't say it, it doesn't count.

If you are grateful, but don't say thank you, what good is that?

If you love someone, but don't say I love you, what good is that?

People are desperate for a good word.  For a word of kindness.

If you think something good about someone, be sure to tell them.

Say things like:

• I am thankful for you.
• You are amazing.
• You are so smart.
• I love you.
• You make me feel so good about myself.
• You make the world a better place.
• You are one of my favorite humans.

If you feel it, but don't say it, it doesn't count.  So say it.  SAY IT!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

Leaders don't inflict pain

When I was a Pastor there is a saying that I tried to live by.  Here it is: "Leaders don't inflict pain, they bear it."

Now when we had to cut the budget, I know that I inflicted pain.  But for the most part I wanted to save my staff and members from pain. 

If someone was unhappy, I wanted them to talk to me, not dump their stuff on my friends.  If someone needed to be straightened out, I always wanted to do it in the nicest way possible.

Sometimes people in power use their power to hurt others.  To lord it over them.

Good leaders don't inflict pain, they bear it.  Good people bear all the pain that they can so that others don't have to.

This example is set by Jesus.  He spread his arms and absorbed the pain.  Those who claim to follow Christ should do the same.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

Beautiful Chorus

I guess that there is a singing group called "Beautiful Chorus." Jodi Goddard's son David quoted their lyrics from the song Infinite Universe at her memorial service. I thought the words were profound...

Believe Only in Love.
Everything else on earth lacks meaning.
Even if this world is leveled to the ground;
Even if the seas dry up and the mountains wear down;
Love will Live Forever in the Infinite Universe.

Good stuff for sure!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

What made Woods Chapel a great church

I was in KC last week and someone asked me what made Woods Chapel a great church. We talked about what it meant to be outward focused, that a church must focus on reaching others.

I was reminded of the ministry audit that we had in 2000. Back then, we agreed to a number of principles that helped drive us over the next 16 years. Here is the short version of them.

From church council, Saturday, August 26th, 2000 6:00pm and passed unanimously.

4. Motion: That the missions statement is the plumb line of the church by which everything else is measured. 

5. Motion: We affirm that the mission is non-negotiable and that everything else is expendable for the mission if need be. I.e. ballfield vs parking 

10. Motion: when we find that we are struggling to reach consensus, we are committed to pray and to carefully ask the question “What is God doing, and do I disagree because this goes against the leading of the spirit and the mission of the church or because I prefer something else?” And that we consider the question “where is God’s will, and where is my will?” 

11. Motion: that we work toward balanced programming by affirming the cycle of ministry as defined by the “inviting, forming and sending” model. 

14. Motion: that we commit to sharing space among the various ministries. That our mission comes before our personal feelings about, or preferences regarding particular programs or particular spaces in the church. 

15. Motion: while being committed to serve those who hurt, we agree to grow in Christ so that we are able to affirm the statement “we are called to serve, not to be served” 

16. Motion: that we commit to dream big. That we affirm the belief that God is big enough to fulfill his dreams in us as outlined in Eph 3:20 “God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” 

18. Motion: that we affirm the statement “membership is a responsibility not a privilege” [33]

23. Motion: We affirm the belief that those who are not here matter as much if not more than those who are already here. 

25. Motion: that while we work to nurture people of all ages, we make a stronger commitment to reach folks in their 20’s, who are the future of tomorrow’s church. [35]

You can see that there were many more motions that passed, but I hold these few out as those that seem most important to me.  You can hear the outward focused nature of the proposals.  You can hear the church reaching for and embracing the ideals of selflessness.

When we make it about me, my comfort and my preference, we get off track, we get off mission.  When we put others first, when we put the mission first, things start to get back on track.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

Recently heard

I was at a memorial service, a celebration of life for my dear friend Jody Goddard.  I will be posting over the next few days, hit and miss about some of what I heard there.

Jody was awesome, and if a funeral/memorial/celebration can be awesome, hers was.  No one had to pretend, no one had to lie.  All of the great things that were said were true.  She was amazing!!!

Here is a quote.  I don't remember who said it.

"It's not the things that you do that make you real, love makes you real."

Think about that... why do we love who we love?  Because they love us.  They go out of their way for us.  You can do things for people in an unloving way, and it matters not.  But when you love people, it's just good.

There should be lots more love in the world.  You and I can do something about that.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022.  If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

http://www.eo.travelwithus.com/files/uploads/RC22_031922T_TulipTime_002_FINAL-1.pdf

Click here for the brochure

How to revive your church post-pandemic

I was talking with some folks the other day whose church has been struggling.  They asked me how to revive their church post pandemic.

The $63,000 question is this... "Are you excited about your church?"  If you are not, then there is no reviving.  Stick a fork in her, she is done for.

However, if you are excited about your church, here is what needs to happen.  Everyone needs to start providing opportunities for people to get together.  Host a dinner at your house for 12 folks, members and folks that you would like to have join you.  Revive taco night and invite 30 people.  Have a corn hole tournament for 16 friends.  Invite people to the hot dog trailer food truck and spend the afternoon visiting.  Do something fun that gets people together.

There is a pent up demand right now for community togetherness.  This cannot be solved by the preacher or staff [although they should do the same things that I am suggesting.]  Successful churches are lay driven.  Every member actively engaged in the process of connecting people.  When people are having fun with others that go to your church, they will start attending.  It begins with connections.

Get out there and bring them to something fun.  Attending church will follow.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

I've got the power

It's a quote from the movie Bruce Almighty which is one of my favorites of all time.

I've got the power.  And so do you.  You may not feel powerful, you may not be a boss, but you have power.

Power for bad:  to complain, to sulk, to wish it were different, to be hateful, to lie, to steal, to ignore and so on.

And, you have power for good:  to love, to say hello, to ask their name, to smile, to hug, to tell them how much you love them, to forgive, to over tip, to buy their lunch, to hold the door open, to do a favor for them, and on it goes.

Yes you have power.  It is just a matter of how you choose to use it.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to use your power for good.

The prayer of St. Francis

 

When I was writing yesterday's post about having no one to love, I thought of this prayer, one of my favorites.

It is in giving that we receive.  It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.  You may feel alone, you may feel hurt, you may feel broken, but there is great power in loving others.  Love them in the midst of your struggle.

It is in giving that we receive.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

no one to love

I was talking to someone the other day who bemoaned that "they have no one to love."

Maybe you are single.  Maybe you are in a dead end relationship.  Maybe you feel unloved.  Maybe you feel that you have no one to love.

I disagree.  Although you may not get to hug or kiss them, there are tons of people around you to love.  You can show love to people every day in thousands of ways.  It is just a matter of a choice.  Will I reach for them and care for them or will I make our encounter about me?

The server, the UPS man, the person behind the counter, the checker, the neighbor, the cousin, the person on the end of the phone call, the client, the bank teller, on and on it goes.

All of these people need love.  So do you, but the best way to feel full of love is to give it away.

When I was at Woods Chapel, I received a Christmas card a number of years that had the Rogers and Hammerstein quote in it:

A bell's not a bell till you ring it.
A song's not a song till you sing it.
Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay.
Love isn't love till you give it away.

No one to love?  Wrong.  Get out there and get in the game.  Hundreds of people are waiting for you to love them.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Paying attention

There is an intersection not far from our home in Vero Beach where US 1 and Old Dixie parallel each other and at this point they are maybe 40 yards apart.  There have been some bad wrecks on the corner of 65th and Old Dixie.  I think people come up to the intersection but their focus is on the US 1 intersection.  And if you don't stop at Old Dixie, you can find yourself in a real jam because the cross traffic does not stop.

So I was in Kansas City last week, driving on Lees Summit road towards Woods Chapel Road by the Baptist Church.  I wasn't thinking about that intersection, my brain was thinking about turning on Colbern road.  I roll up to the intersection at 45 MPH and I notice this car pulling out in front of me.  Then I realize that there is a stop sign that I completely missed.  I hit the brakes.  They stopped.  Disaster avoided.

Sometimes it is good to think ahead, but other times it is really important to pay attention to what you are doing right now.  This moment matters.  The people in this moment matter.

It's a beautiful, worthwhile day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Don't hurt back

Ok, it happened.  Someone hurt you.  Yes it happened, yes it was said, yes it was done.  It hurts for sure.

There is this human response to want to hurt back.  Sometimes we want to hurt the person who hurt us and sometimes we don't want to hurt them because we love them, so we end up hurting others.  We humans sometimes carry hurt like a wet blanket hung over our backs.

[It took me years in ministry to realize that some of the angry people that I ran across were not angry at me, there was just something else going on in their life and I was an easy target.]

Anyway, you are hurt and you want to hurt back.  Don't do it.  Nothing is gained by you hurting that person back.  Your feelings will change.  Feelings always change.  They are a lovely valuable person created by God.  Don't hurt them.  You will come out on the other side.  Keep looking for people to love.  See the good, do the good.  Things will get better.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

That's it!!!

Lucy says, "you have pantaphobia, the fear of everything."
Charlie Brown says, "That's it!!!"

That's it!!!

Tumble with me through this post. I am trying to explain something that is hard to explain.

There is a strange phenomenon that occurs when you read or hear an idea. Sometimes I get this feeling, "that is exactly what I was thinking!"

So you have a thought- maybe like it is a bit out of the norm. Maybe you feel that the thought is borderline or not accepted by the larger group. You have been struggling with a thing and looking for a way to express your feelings.

You refrain from saying it, from sharing it, because maybe you’re the only one that thinks this way.

Then you read the thought somewhere else and you get a big smile on your face! You feel validated. I’m not the only one that thinks these things! I’m not the only one who feels that way!

You want to reach out to the person and say, thank you for saying that, it is exactly what I was thinking.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Gaping hole

I was talking to someone the other day who was really hurting. They suddenly have a gaping hole in their heart.

I think that most of us have felt this at one time or another. The death of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a friend.

And there is this gaping hole.

I thought of the words from the Coldplay song, Fix you: Tears stream down your face - when you lose something you cannot replace.

Most of the time when people hurt, I don't know how to fix it for them.  So you sit, and you listen and you hug them.

If you are hurting today, my heart goes out to you.  I am so sorry for your loss.

But please remember, it is still a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

If you could hear how you sound

If you could hear how you sound. 

When I was young my mother would say that to me.  Evidently I had a bad tone of voice. As I grew older I would think "mother, if you could hear how you sound."  But I could never say it, that would result in a slap across the face.

How we say something is as important if not more important than what we say.  We can just blurt something out and deliver our information or we can think about how we carry ourselves. We can look for ways to phrase a thing or explain a thing that is less difficult and less hurtful. 

We don’t have to deliver a zinger to someone because of some misfortune or some perceived slight. 

• We had to wait too long for a table - zinger.  
• Someone said something that we didn’t like - zinger.  
• I don’t like the way this is going - zinger.

Or instead of zingers we can deliver kindness. People matter and our tone of voice says a lot about whether we are delivering selfishness to them or love. 

Do you know how you sound?

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

How much of life is about me?

We humans have an uncanny way of making everything about me.  Someone is telling us a story about their surgery, and before they can finish we start telling them about our surgery.  When I am driving, everyone should get out of my way.  I should have the best job.  I should have the best of everything.  I, I, I, me, me, me.  It's all about me.

The journey of the Christian life is to learn to make it less about me and more about others.  This begins with taking a fearless moral inventory of our own selfishness and seeing it for what it is.  The next big step involves seeing others as valuable.  Noticing other people and seeing that they matter.  They have a right to drive a car on the same road as I do.  They have a right to get warm fuzzys from me instead of cold pricklys.

How much of your day to day is about you?  Can we make an intentional effort to see others and care for them?

My worst moments are when I make it about me.  My happiest moments are when I am doing for someone else.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Doctrine or Love

Churches are too full of doctrine.  Doctrine is the ideas and beliefs that men and women [but almost exclusively men] have decided are important.  People can say that their ideas come from the Bible, but they still choose which ones to hold onto and they shape them.  There are lots of doctrines that are just plain hurtful.

There are very few doctrinal ideas that come from Jesus, and the few that you find, he often superseded with love.  In other words, when Jesus saw an opportunity to love, he set aside rules and beliefs because love was more important.

We don't know if our doctrines are right.  People insist that their doctrines are right, but we don't, we can't know.  Doctrinal disputes have led to the creation of over 33,000 different denominations, all claiming to have the market on truth.  People are crazy!

We can't know if our beliefs are right.  But what we can know is that love is right.  We humans should spend less time trying to believe it right and just love people.

Relax.  Live and let live.  Live and love.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Dealing with anger

I am sure we all get angry from time to time.  I know some people that are eaten up with anger.

Someone did you wrong.  You got fired.  Someone doesn't like you.  Someone doesn't want to be with you anymore.  You were rejected.

It all hurts and anger can be the result.  I too have collected some wounds over the years.  Some of them still sting from time to time.  Here are things that I do to combat anger when it rears it's ugly head.

1.  I don't dwell on the memory.  Since you can only think about one thing at a time, I choose to think about something else.

2.  I think of those who hurt me and I pray for them.  I see them standing next to Jesus and I see that Jesus loves them.  I remember that much of what they did was not intentionally done to hurt me.  The hurt was a byproduct of something that they said or did.

3.  I refuse to let negativity dominate my day.  I remind myself that no matter what happens in my life, it is my job to give my day to God.  If I am angry about something, I am no good to anyone that I meet during the day.

4.  I spend time with good people.  When I am with people that I like, it makes me happy and it takes my mind off of the hurts.

I hope those little ideas are helpful to you.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.