As a follow up to yesterday's blog, here is a list of things not to say. I have posted this before but we so easily forget. We so easily fall back into patterns that are not healthy.
Things not to say to people who are hurting or at the time of a death... [and I have heard all of these said at one time or another]- He looks better
- You look terrible
- He is in a better place
- Remember you have your children that need you
- It was God’s will
- God needed another angel
- Everything happens for a reason
- It must have been his time
- How are you going to carry on?
- I told him smoking would be the death of him
- How are you fixed financially?
- Life goes on
- You know he is going to hell
- Are you taking any medication?
- I know how you feel
- At least he’s no longer in pain
- You are young, you can marry again
Don’t ask, “how did he die?”
Don’t call the person the deceased. They had a name.
Everyone is uncomfortable, don’t act out of your discomfort or nervousness.
On the other hand here are some things that are good to say a the time of death or loss:
- I love you
- I am sorry
- Let me know if I can help you in any way
Keep it quiet
Move on, don’t hover
No pat answers please. They don't work and they don't help. Be a part of the healing by loving them and hugging them.
It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.
Click here for the cruise brochure
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