jokes

Sometimes in life we just need a little humor.
Sometimes when life gets heavy, we need a little laugh.

So a snake walks into the bar.
The bartender, looking bewildered says, "how did you do that???"

Does it bother you when people answer their own questions?  It sure bothers me.

Why does the number 6 want a rematch with 5 and 7?

To get even with the odds.

Why did the horse cross the road?
I don't know, it left before I could ask the equestrian!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Knock knock

Knock Knock
Who is there?
Amish.
Amish who?
Amish you.

I was thinking the other day about how many people that I miss.  Friends from Cape Coral, Friends from Ft. Pierce, Friends from Vermont.  Friends from Kansas City.  Roger at Kings Bay.  Jeff from Sebastian.  All of my Bobby's friends.  Softball team mates.  Former co-workers.  What a joy it has been to be connected to you all over the years.

You know, when you love someone, it hurts to be away from them.

Amish you all and I hope that we can get together soon.  You mean so much to me.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Hungry for?

Subway's ham egg and
cheese flatbread... Mmm

We all get hungry from time to time.  I know some people who get hangry if they don't eat in time.

I think it is interesting what we get the cravings for.  I love breakfast food.  24 hours a day I can eat breakfast food.

I love a good steak.  A hamburger.  A chicken sandwich.  I love my wife's lasagna and pasta dishes but they are not good for my weight.

The other morning I was hungry and landed at Subway.  They have a wonderful breakfast sandwich, actually it is a wrap.  Ham, egg and cheese on flatbread.  Add some onions and black pepper and it is to die for.  Lo cal too.

Next time you are eating something that you like, take a moment to appreciate it.  We are so blessed to have so many opportunities to eat in America.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

the dog

So I was watching the news about the Russian invasion of Ukraine.  Oh, how I feel for those people.  It is just gut wrenching to think about it.  One moment, your life is your life and the next moment the Russians invade.

I have to take breaks from watching it as it makes me heartsick.

And so let me switch topics... My daughter Jenny has a poodle named George.  He is the best dog in the world.  Our entire family loves him and George loves all of us.  He is so excited to see us.  He loves to give big hugs.  We would never want anything to happen to George.

And so I was watching the news about the Russian invasion of Ukraine and there is this picture of an area that had been bombed and a guy is carrying his dog.  I thought about the dog.  [you can see him by the yellow vehicle.]

Yesterday, I had the life of a pet.  Coddled, back scratched, and loved.  I had owners that loved me and protected me.  Now there are all of these terrible loud noises.  If my owners are killed, or if they cannot care for me, I may be on the street.  A tame, loveable pet, turned loose in a world full of wild animals and wild people.

The whole thing is so sad.

Be good to your pets.  Be good to people. No invasions please.  No hatefulness please,  only kindness.

oblivious

I am oblivious and I am spoiled and I fear that I am not the only one.

Last week I was sitting in an Italian restaurant in Vero Beach. I was enjoying my family. I was eating bread dipped in oil. We had drinks. I ate spaghetti and meatballs. It was quite an enjoyable time.

And all the while, as I am just enjoying a beautiful evening, the capital of Ukraine is being attacked by Russian forces.

And so in the middle of this nice dinner, my brain stops. How can I be so heartless... there is so much suffering in this world. My life is so blessed, and others are suffering.  I didn't say anything at the table because I didn't want to ruin the moment, but my brain did stop and consider how easy it is to live on auto-pilot.

Ukrainian woman weeping

The only good that I can find in this story is that I must grow in compassion. I must grow in awareness. I must grow in appreciation. I must grow in generosity. I must grow in empathy. I must grow in thoughtfulness.

And I am shocked, dismayed and confused by how my life is this way and their life is that way. What do you think about that? How do you find the good in that? Do I deserve such a good life? Did I earn this?

Why was I born in America instead of Nicaragua or the Ukraine?

May we all work hard to make it a beautiful day in God's world, for all of His children, so all of His children, all over the world can see the good.

It's here again

I am going to be in Kansas City this year on March the 4th.  I was trying to make plans with a friend and he told me that he was not available on Friday because he was going to the parade.

My brain thought - what parade???  He got me with my own joke.

So here we go again...

Please take time to watch the parade today. Many people have gone to great lengths to prepare for this special event. Your boss will let you off work for it.

What parade you say?

Today is the day when all of the bands from the local high schools line up downtown and March fourth.

[this was my grandmother's joke, passed on to my mother, then to me and now to you.]

It's a beautiful day in God's world be sure to see the good.

Relax please

So my niece and her daughter are visiting. Five year old Aria. 

Cathy and my niece are out to lunch and Aria wants to swim. The water is 78°.  Little too cold for this guy to swim.  So I’m watching her get in the pool and watching her swim around.  I am watching her using cups throwing water out of the pool. When I was a young father I would’ve told my children to stop throwing the water out of the pool.  She is drawing with chalk on the pool deck!!! I was worried about so much back when I was young, things that didn't really matter.   But I realize now that I can put more water in the pool and the chalk will wash off and this is just not a big deal.  Being a grandparent, a grand uncle is so nice. It’s so great because I let her do just about whatever she wants and I don’t worry about it because nothing‘s gonna be permanently damaged.   I just enjoy watching her young brain do and learn and enjoy.

We went for breakfast one morning at Bob Evans and she had chocolate chip pancakes, and a big glass of chocolate milk. I wish I’ve been better when I was a young father and not so worried about what my children were doing. But at least we’ve learned along the way - don’t cry over spilled milk - don’t make a big deal out of it.  It’s fun watching her play.

It feels good to be more relaxed at this stage of my life.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

who we become

My friend Bruce sent me this meme:

I love this quote, but I fear that it is not true for everyone.  I run into so many older folks who are unhappy about this, about that, about anything.

Personally, I have found less to worry about as I have grown older.  I am less worried about my kids.  I am less worried about money.  It will all work out.  I feel that I am becoming a better person than I was when I was younger.  But I know of many, who seem to be getting worse- more worried, more disappointed, more fearful.

It is said that as you grow older, you can get bitter, or you can get better.  May more of us strive to become the person that we should have been long ago.

It is never too late to choose to be a kind and loving person.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

No more united

A screen shot from their web site.

I ran into some members of First United Methodist Church in Vero.  They were ringing the bell for the Salvation Army at Christmas time.  We got to chatting and they told me that they were no longer a part of the United Methodist Church.

They have voted to disaffiliate from our denomination.  Their sign no longer reads "First United Methodist Church."  The United is gone and now they are going by the First Methodist Church.  I am wondering what the future holds for them?  Will they be a stand alone church?  Will they connect to other churches that leave our denomination?

I hear from the grapevine that some of our churches in Missouri are leaving the denomination as well.  I find it all so sad.  I worked for so many years in a denomination that I loved.  I am sorry to see so many friends go.

I am trusting that we who remain can remain united.

It's still a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

laughter

Jackie Gleason

It is said that laughter is good for the soul.

A few weeks ago I was watching a show and I started to laugh.  A big "grin til your face hurts" belly laugh.  Then it occurred to me... I was hearing my Dad...  My laugh sounded like my Dad's.

For all of the difficulty of my childhood, one of the things that I remember fondly was the occasional moment when my Dad would be watching a show, and break out in laughter.  He loved the Muppet Show and the Honeymooners with Jackie Gleason.

I might be upstairs in my room, as far away as you could be, and hear him laughing all the way from the TV.  Even as I write this, it brings a smile to my face to remember my Dad laughing.  Good times.  Happy times.  

May we all laugh, my we grin til our face hurts, may we have more big fat belly laughs.  Laughter is good for the soul.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

I was scared

So a couple of weeks ago my job ended in Geneva NY.  What a beautiful part of the country.  What a beautiful town.   I had a 40 mile drive to the Rochester NY airport.  It was snowing.

I have not driven in snow for 6 years.  The snow was blowing.  Visibility was bad.  The lanes were snow covered.  40 miles.  Locals would have made fun of me, and years ago, I did this every winter.  But it has been a while.  And I am no longer a spring chicken.

I was scared.  The picture in this post is a stock picture from the internet, I did not take it as I had both hands on the wheel.  The picture is a very real representation of what I was dealing with.  At one point, I was in tears.  I was scared.  Three cars were off the road.  The navigation kept telling me that there was an accident ahead!!!

I called a bunch of people.  Please talk to me and take my mind off of what is happening.  I drove 5 miles an hour below the speed limit.  Locals passed me.  I don't care.  Be safe Jeff!!!

Fortunately I made it to the airport.  I got inside and took off my heavy jacket and stuffed it in my suitcase.  

I am done with snow for a while.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Most people only think about themselves

So I am watching this movie that Pastor Tim told me about 18 months ago.  It is called The Kindness of Strangers.

And there is a line in this counseling session, "most people only think about themselves."

I would say that some people only think about themselves.  I hope that we are creating a movement of people that think about others.  

One of the interesting things about trying to think about others is that selfishness is so sneaky.  We have to be on guard all the time to make sure that we are really looking at what is going on.

Most people only think about themselves?  Today lets make a pledge that there will be at least one less in that group.  Me.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Girl Scout Cookies

So the girl scouts are out selling cookies.  

Here is what I do.  I walk up to the table and ask how many girls are selling cookies. I ask them which is their favorite kind.  2 girls selling I buy two boxes, 4 girls selling, I buy four boxes, one each of their favorite kinds.

I ask them how much.  They tell me $5 a box.  I act surprised.  I tell that that when I was their age, the cookies were $2.50 a box.  I tell them that when my dad was their age, the cookies were free!  [all laugh]

They give me the cookies.  Then I give them back to them, each girl gets a box of their favorite kind.  I tell them have a nice day, and I walk away.

Always brings some joy to the girls and the moms.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

the power of thank you

Gratitude, being thankful, is one of the most powerful things in the world. When I find gratitude, I don't worry about anything. I don't worry about money, I don't worry about my kids, I don't worry about anything.

When I find gratitude, I find happiness. The pains and concerns in my life just slip through my fingers and they are gone.  I lift up my head and I see the sky.

There is an old hymn... "Count your blessings name them one by one." If we started counting our blessings, we would get nothing done today.

What are your blessings?
I have a great wife that loves me.
I have great friends.
I have 3 great kids.
I was born in a great country.
I have a clear mind.
I can see.
I can hear.
I can walk.
I have a car that runs.
If the car doesn't run, I can get it fixed.
I can move about the country or the world if I so choose.
I have seen the Grand Canyon, Yosemite and Yellowstone.

I have discovered the joy of living a generous life.

On and on I could go. What about you?

Eckhart von Hochheim (1260 – 1328), commonly known as Meister Eckhart was a German Catholic Priest of the Dominican order. He is a revered and studied, theologian, philosopher and mystic.

About all I really remember about the guy is this quote:

If the only prayer you learned in your whole life was, "thank you," that would be enough.
~Meister Eckhart

Dear God, 

THANK YOU!!!

Amen

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

I am enjoying

I had a very interesting thought the other day.  "I am enjoying life more now, than I ever have!"

And I ask myself why?  My knees are shot.  On bad days I limp and cannot climb a ladder.  My muscle tone has gone to the dogs.  I have lost the rest of my hair.  I look in the mirror and my face is blotchy, bumpy and sagging.

Yet, I have this thought... I am enjoying life now, more than ever.  

Why?  Hmmm, let me think on that.

Well, I have finally started reaching for people.  I am treating people better than I ever have and that is karma.  It comes back to you.  Meeting strangers in new towns, and after a week, they want to stay in touch with you.

I don't have to win anymore.  I don't have to be in charge.  I can go with the flow.  I can let others set the pace.  I can follow.  I can support them.

I am not worried about God.  I am not worried about belief.  I know he loves me, and I just try to love others the best that I can.

I am growing in gratitude.  Being thankful is such a beautiful thing.

So, four reasons that I can come up with on the fly:
- reach for people
-give up needing to be in charge
-make peace with the God of love
- practice gratitude

Here at 64, I am living my best life.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

A letter to Mr. Putin

I normally write about kindness and love.  These are such important topics.  But there comes a time on the world stage when something else needs to be said.  Sometimes doing the right thing is very difficult and painful and costly...  So here I go... 

 Forgive me if this feels political, and it might, but I cannot watch any longer without speaking out.

Dear Mr. Putin...

Mr. Putin we have not seen such naked aggression and such arrogance since Adolf Hitler in 1939. You took the  Crimea in 2014 and the West did nothing.  You moved into the Crimea with troops that were not identified with your national colors, which is against international law, and the West did nothing.   

Now you have annexed the provinces in east Ukraine. And the West has done nothing. 

If I were president of the United States, this is what I would say to you...  "if you step one foot into the Ukraine, We are at war. Man to man, soldier to soldier, tank to tank, airplane to airplane, submarine to submarine, President to President we will be at war."

Good people cannot allow tyrants to take what they want.  Mr. Putin, please reconsider your actions.

It is a very tense, worrisome day in God's world......

Spread the love

So I want to encourage every one to be kind and loving. That is first base. You, reader, and me, let's be kind and loving. It's not that hard. That is step one.

But now let's take it up to the next level. What can you do to teach others to spread the love? What can you do to teach others that life is about us being the Good Samaritan?

If you have been reading my stuff for a while, you know that I am a big believer in kindness. But I think that we can go farther... There are people that taught me things in this life. There are people that taught me about kindness and generosity. They expanded their reach.

Who can you teach about kindness? Who can you teach about being generous? Please start thinking about this.

Take your belief in kindness to the next level. Find ways to talk to people about kindness. Look for ways to reach into the souls of others. Set an example. Be so kind and generous that they want to understand what makes you tick. Help them see that love and kindness is why we are here. That and nothing more.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

What is this white stuff?

So I was in Kansas City and it snowed. I sent a picture of it to my family and asked them what this white stuff was.

I was in New York. Yes it snowed a ton.

Loading up snow in Geneva, NY

I saw Bigfoot in Seneca Falls, NY

I was home in Florida and woke up early to drive to the airport. What is this stuff on my windshield? Ice!!! Did I have a scraper? No not in Florida. I used a credit card to scrape my windows. Should probably keep the credit cards on ice anyway.

Ice on my windshield in sunny Florida!!!

Our plane was supposed to leave at 6am. We were delayed. Seems that there was ice on the wings. And guess what? In Florida there is no equipment for de-icing. So the plane pulled out to the end of the runway and positioned itself to catch the sun. Finally about 7:10 the sun came up and started to melt the ice.

Deicing in Florida. Just go out into the sun!!!

I miss my friends, but I don't miss ice and snow.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Do you take tips?

I was at the Atlanta airport sitting at the gate.  A fellow a few years older than me came rolling up in a wheelchair.  There are employees at airports that their job is to pick you up in a wheelchair and take you to the next gate and get you on the plane.

Guess what?  They take tips.  And they should.

So this guy is sitting in the wheelchair just complaining about everything.  I look at the guy that has to push him around.  He looks at me.  We share this look of "what is wrong with this guy?"  I want to say something, but I don't.

But I can't get it out of my head.  The plane finally takes off and lands in Melbourne.  On the way out thru the terminal I catch up to the new guy who is pushing this dude.  I asked the pusher if he took tips.  He said, "sure, most people tip us."  I gave him $5.

I hope the grouchy man, being pushed in the wheelchair will think in the future about those who are serving him.  

We should all be thinking about others.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

My Jesus

When I was in college and seminary, 1976-1984 I listened exclusively to "Christian" music.  All other music, so we were told, was the devil's music.  [Does Michael the archangel have music assigned to him?  Then how can the devil, since he was an archangel too.]

Anyway, because I didn't listen to other music, I missed the great bands of that era:  ELO, REO Speed wagon, Journey, etc.  Since then I have been catching up with those bands.

I am not a big listener of "Christian"  music.  Some of it has terrible theology in it.  I love some of the old hymns.  I love Christmas music.  Occasionally I find a contemporary song that I love.  I was thinking about this one the other day, the title is My Jesus by Todd Agnew.  Bad word alert- here are the lyrics...

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Why do you look so much like the world?

'Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land?
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand?

'Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

And who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet? Holy, yeah

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part?
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

'Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

'Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
And I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I wanna be like my Jesus
I wanna be like my Jesus
I wanna be like my Jesus, yeah
I wanna be like my Jesus, oh, oh, oh

Not a poster child for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I wanna be like my Jesus, but I'm not sure what that means
To be like You Jesus

'Cause You said to live like You, to love like You
But then You died for me
Can I be like You, Jesus?
I wanna be like You, Jesus
I wanna be like my Jesus

click here to listen to the song

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure