What have I learned about love? Not enough.
Although I have tried to be a good person, I feel like I am a latecomer
to living a life of love. I wish I had
been better about loving my children and teaching them about love.
Love. We say the word over and over. I love tacos. I love
cars. I love you. How can that all be true? What is love really?
Let me begin like this.........I expect that people in relationships do things for each other. But when we begin to demand things from others, we may be leaving the realm of love. When I am so broken that I am not whole unless you do such and such, then I have a problem. Friends should not have to buy us dinner or loan us money to remain our friends.
If I want something from you, its not love. That is not to say that people should not be there for each other in a relationship, but if it is constantly about what I am going to get from you, something is wrong with that.
We are so selfish, so self absorbed. If you catch yourself being nice to someone so that they will do something for you, well, then you are busted. That’s not love.
Love means that I care about you whether you give me anything or not. It means that I value you and enjoy you and you don’t have to do anything for me. It means that I seek your highest good. I do everything I can to help you and support you, period. My treatment of you is not conditioned on your treatment of me.
Now sometimes we need to practice tough love with teenagers. Sometimes abusive spouses need correction and direction. What I am saying here does not apply to these situations.
All of us know people who have the ability to help us, or to do something for us. I love hanging around with them and just enjoying them. They are not used to it. They are used to being used.
If I am your friend, I don’t need for you to buy me a pizza. In fact, I don’t want you to go out of your way for me. On the contrary, I want to help you. I want to do something or say something that will make your day go better.
If I need something from you to be happy, then I am not whole. I need to stop, sit down and remember that God loves me and I am ok. I am ok even if you don’t do such and such for me. When I am ok, then I enter the relationship whole. I don’t depend on you to solve my problems. The love that I offer you is pure and clean. It has no conditions attached.
Let me begin like this.........I expect that people in relationships do things for each other. But when we begin to demand things from others, we may be leaving the realm of love. When I am so broken that I am not whole unless you do such and such, then I have a problem. Friends should not have to buy us dinner or loan us money to remain our friends.
If I want something from you, its not love. That is not to say that people should not be there for each other in a relationship, but if it is constantly about what I am going to get from you, something is wrong with that.
We are so selfish, so self absorbed. If you catch yourself being nice to someone so that they will do something for you, well, then you are busted. That’s not love.
Love means that I care about you whether you give me anything or not. It means that I value you and enjoy you and you don’t have to do anything for me. It means that I seek your highest good. I do everything I can to help you and support you, period. My treatment of you is not conditioned on your treatment of me.
Now sometimes we need to practice tough love with teenagers. Sometimes abusive spouses need correction and direction. What I am saying here does not apply to these situations.
All of us know people who have the ability to help us, or to do something for us. I love hanging around with them and just enjoying them. They are not used to it. They are used to being used.
If I am your friend, I don’t need for you to buy me a pizza. In fact, I don’t want you to go out of your way for me. On the contrary, I want to help you. I want to do something or say something that will make your day go better.
If I need something from you to be happy, then I am not whole. I need to stop, sit down and remember that God loves me and I am ok. I am ok even if you don’t do such and such for me. When I am ok, then I enter the relationship whole. I don’t depend on you to solve my problems. The love that I offer you is pure and clean. It has no conditions attached.
It''s a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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