Friday, June 9, 2017

setting boundaries

If healthy people free others to live, they also set boundaries in their own lives.  You can love that 41 year old child, but you do not have to let them move in with you.  You can love that cousin and not loan them the money.

When I say free them to live, it does not mean that you become a doormat.

I may or may not loan someone money.  I am not obligated to do that.  Even to my children.
I will allow you to visit, but I am probably not going to allow you to move in.
I may or may not loan you my tools.
I may or may not do a lot of things.

When I free you to be you, it does not mean that I belong to you as well.  I free you to be you, and to take responsibility for your own life.  If I keep saving you from your life, I am not freeing you to live, but I am probably helping you so I can keep you around.... another form of control and manipulation.

I can love you and free you to be you.  But I don't have to meet you for lunch.
You have a right to be happy.  I release you to do that.
I have a right to be happy as well.
Healthy people set boundaries.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, enjoy it.  And be sure to see the good.

1 comment:

Joanne Priester said...

There it is...that fine line between parenting love n co- dependency