I have your back

Someone apologized to me the other day because they were involved in a legal action against someone who had not paid them in their business.  No need to apologize.

First of all, I understand that sometimes legal action must be taken to get people to do the right thing.  That is why the court system is there.

Secondly, as a friend, I have your back.  All of you, I have your backs.  I am not going to judge you.  You may have faults, we all do.  I may, in the course of living life with you, find out about your faults.  And you will surely find out about mine.  I am not going to condone everything that everyone does, nor do I expect you to condone my faults.  However, I will accept you and love you and support you, warts and all.  I will never focus on the bad or uncomfortable things.  I will only focus on the good.  This is the gift of friendship.  This is the grace that God shows to us.  And if God can love us and support us warts and all, then we need to give the same to each other.

There is never a reason to apologize to me for being human.  Last time I checked, I was one too.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

friendships continued

If you pinned me down, about my best friends today, I would surely leave someone out and  hurt their feelings.  So forgive me for that.

There are so many people that I love at our church.  Many of you I think of often, and fondly.  We may have never shared a hamburger, but I love you so much.  A great example of this is Phil Hart.  Man I love that guy. 

Another guy I dearly love is Lions Den Man.  He does not know this, but over the last two weeks I have thought of him every day.  Not sure why.  I need to call him.  He is the best.

Ok, friends.  P, D, M, H, J, S, C, J, R, LDM, K, S, T, DJ, B, T, H, J, R,M, B, L, A, F, M, G, T, D, A, W, B, D, and on and on I go.  You can see that I have won the friend lottery.  I am the most fortuante human being.  I am the most fortunate pastor.  I have canoed with these guys, played softball, bowled, rode on pontoon boats, listened to music, talked about life, ate pizza, laughed and cried.  Oh, the value of a friend is the most precious thing that a person can have.

I will also tell you that I am friends with my children, Alli, Jenny and Scott.  I love them so much.  Their friends come over and I love them as well.  I don't see them much but when the girls college friends come over, we always have such a great time. 

If you have a friend, count yourself as blessed.  If you have more than one, smile, because life is very very good for you.

It's a beautful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Friendships in Lees Summit

This is where I am going to get in trouble, because I am going to leave someone out.  Please don't be upset.  It is early in the morning and my brain is moving slowly.

There are two things that I have learned about friendship since I moved here in 1994.  First of all, I have learned that you can have more than one friend at a time.  In fact, I have won the friend lottery since I moved here.

The second thing that I have learned, painfully about friendship, is that sometimes they change and people move on.  Difficult as that is, it is something that I have had to make peace with.  I have lived here for 18 years and four months.  Almost three times longer than I have ever lived anywhere else in my life.  So I have had many friends here at Woods Chapel.

Where do  I begin?  It took me about a year to get over leaving Princeton and the loss of my friend Roger.  Finally I became great friends with S and J.  S is still in my life.  We bowl together on Monday nights.  I love him and he is awesome.  J I only see occasionally, but again, he is a great guy.  When all three of our jobs changed, we had less time to hang out. 

I then became great friends with B and another fellow.  I can't use even an initial for the other fellow, because he got mad at me and dumped me.  It crushed me.  B is still around and I see him occasionally, but not as much as we used to.  I still love him dearly.

I should mention the Armadillo softball team.  Every single one of those guys is my bonded brother for life.  I will never forget the parade of their faces at the funeral visitation for my father. 

Well, that is all for today.  More tomorrow.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

post college friendships

I am continuing to write on friendships.  My last year of college I had no friends, as Dallas Moore moved back to Bethel, Ohio.

After college I laid asphalt for two years.  During that time, my best friend was Bob Walls.  I also dated a couple of gals.  Then I went off to Seminary.  My best friend there was Vic Heister.  Again, what a fine man he was.  So talented.  He could build or fix anything.  He was from Bethel, Oklahoma.  Two friends from Bethel.  That is interesting.  I learned so much from him about construction.  We installed hot tubs and built decks.  I found him a year ago thanks to the internet, but we have not really kept up.  You know, people get busy and life goes on.

After seminary, I served my first churches in Cache and Indiahoma, Oklahoma.  You will have to mapquest those to see where they are at.  I did not really make any long time friendships there, although there were many people in the congregation I dearly loved.  Daryl and Syd Perry to name a few.

I moved back to Kansas City in 1986.  I rekindled my friendship then with Bob Walls.  I found Bob a few years ago.  When he got remarried I performed the service.  He had a brain tumor a few years ago.  It was removed and he is doing well.  He lives in Overland Park, but we don't really stay in touch very much.  That is bad on my part, because he is a great guy.  Odd, all of my friends have been really great guys.

Cathy and I moved to Lebanon, MO in 1989.  We lived there for two years.  My best friend there was Tim Marcum.  Isn't it odd that I have only had one friend at a time for all of these years?  Tim and I played golf together and took third place in a 3 on 3 basketball tournament.  He was in the Army and was a tremendous man. 

We moved to Princeton, MO in 1991.  I loved the people of the Princeton church.  My best friend there was Roger Grout.  He truly is one of the finest men I have ever known.  Our souls were knit together. It crushed me when we left him and moved to Lee's Summit.  I will never forget the day that I loaded up the last van load and pulled out of the driveway.  I sobbed for 30 miles from Princeton to Bethany.

That does not mean that I don't love it here in Lee's Summit, the tears were a testament to what a wonderful friend he was.  More tomorrow.

By the way, today is my Dad's birthday.  In some ways, my Dad was a great friend to me as well.  Although he once told me that he could not be my Dad and my friend at the same time, he was wrong.  I miss him a lot.  Happy Birthday Dad.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

best friend

Someone asked that I post about my best friend besides God and Cathy.  Here you go. 

Best Friend.  I hate to write about this because there are so many people that I dearly love.  Years ago, there was a couple that Cathy and I were close to.  I one referred to them as our best friends.  He startled me by saying that they don't have or don't identify best friends, because they have so many friends.  It hurt my feelings at the time, but now, years later, I totally understand.  So let me write for a few days about friendship.

When I was young I had very few friends.  I usually had one friend at a time.  When I was in grade school at South City View in the Center School District, my one friend was Greg Fisher.  He lives in Arizona now, and we do not keep up.  I do keep up with his mom.  We had lunch a few weeks ago.  His sisters and mom attend St. John's UMC at 6700 Ward Parkway.

When  I was in Jr High, I attended Bret Harte Jr High in San Jose, California.  My one and only friend was Mark Stanton.  Mark lives in Illinois now and I have not heard from him in years.  He is a great guy and very funny.  Mark, if you google yourself one day, I would love to hear from you.

When I was a senior in high school, I began dating.  I was pretty serious about that.  Mark moved away.  My best guy friend was Mark Flammer.  I have no idea where he is or what he is doing.  His dad was a teacher.  We played tennis and went out on his Hobie Cat Catamaran.  My best girl friend was Lisa M.  She was my first love.  We dated for 2 1/2 years.  It crushed me when she ended that.  I thought life was over.  But it wasn't.  I am sure that there is a lesson there.

My first year of college was at San Jose State.  My best friend was still Mark Flammer.  Then we moved back to Kansas City and I finished college in Springfield.  My best friend there was Dallas Moore.  He lives in Cincinnati.  I drove out to visit him in 1998.  He is such a fine man and such a great person.  So funny.  I have not talked to him for years.  If you know him, ask him to call me.  We played tennis, soccer, baseball, Foosball, and every other sport in the world together.  I was the right side linebacker, he was the left side linebacker.  I miss him.  I dearly loved him.  When he did not come back for our senior year, I was crushed.

Ok, that is all that we are going to do for today.  Make it a wonderful day.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

what to do

Sometimes in life I have these moments that can only be summed up with the thought, "well what do you do with that?"  There are moments that leave me dumbfounded.  I have seemed to run into something that just leaves you shaking your head.

The other night I had a dream.  Dreams are a funny collection of things.  Here is the dream:  Sunday morning church was full.  Lots of people.  The power went off so everyone left.  I couldn't get the folks to understand that we could still have church without electricity.  Now the strange part.  A woman called me and suggested that we start a ministry of doing laundry for people. She would be willing to buy two washers and dryers to get it going.  I liked the idea.  For the homeless, for the elderly, what a great ministry.  Then the kicker, the caveat, the followup.  She wanted her 15 year old son to be in charge of the ministry and to be paid to do the laundry.

I am not sure what to say to her.  Something about a conflict of interest.  Something about the concept of mission usually does not include payment.  Something about volunteering or giving.  I was dumbfounded.  I didn't know what to say. 

Fortunately for me, the alarm rang.  I was only a dream.  It was time to get up and deal with real life, which is only slightly more crazy sometimes than what I find in my dreams.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

important things

Important things.  We decide what  is important by how we use our resources, how we spend our money and how we spend our time.  If you run though my check book you can total up what we spend on various things and see what our family values.

Humans are funny.  Christians are funny.  We talk about what we love.  We talk about what we think is important, but we spend a good deal of our time and money on those things that will not satisfy.

Today I encourage you to release yourself from worry about the things that are not that important.  Just for one day lets not worry about how we look or if we have new clothes.  Lets not worry about entertaining ourselves or others.  Lets turn off the TV.  Lets not worry, period.  Maybe that will free us to to do some of the really good things.

Ride a bicycle.  Sit in the afternoon with a friend.  Call someone who has been on your mind.  Say thank you to someone unexpectedly.  Attend worship.  Go to the park.  Walk the trails at church.  Spend some quiet time with our Father.  At the end of the day I think we will all look back and say it was a beautiful day.

It is a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

arrogance

Arrogance.  Not one of the fruit of the spirit.  Arrogance is so bad, it isn't even a nice word.  Just to see it in print gives me a queasy feeling.

Arrogance is defined as an "offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride."  

I trust that you have none of this within you.  I trust that you flee from this at every turn.  It is bad in a human.  It is worse in a Christ follower.  It is inexcusable in a pastor.

Let us with joyful hearts pursue our Father and His interests.  Let us always consider the feelings and needs of others.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good, and flee the bad.

if a tree falls

If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one there to hear it, does it make any noise?

Here is another way to look at that.  While you and I are totally self absorbed by our life, what is God doing in nature?  While I am driving a car, sitting in front of a computer, buying groceries or sleeping, what is God doing?

While I am engaged in all of those busy human behaviors, God is up to some pretty cool things.  Trees are blowing in the wind.  Grass is growing.  Flowers are budding out.  Stars are exploding.  Planets are spinning around.  The sun is baking.  Birds are flying.  Cats are taking a cat nap.  Trees are falling in the woods and making noise.

While I am blithely going about my human chores, God is doing His work.  I may not be thinking of Him and His actions, but He is still up to His work.  He never takes a day off.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to look up from your tasks and see the good.

surgeries

From the department:  random things to blog about:  surgeries that I have had.

1993- Ring finger on my left hand was cut open under local anesthetic to remove chips of wood.  Seems that if you hit your hand with a hammer hard enough, you can drive all sorts of things into your tissue.

2001- Right shoulder, rotator cuff.  Tried to do it orthoscopically, ended up having to cut me open.  Seems that sliding headfirst into home plate can tear up a shoulder pretty badly.

2004 - Cataracts.  Both eyes.

2005 - Right knee scoped.  Cartilage removed.  Arthritis removed.  Bone spurs cut off.

2008- Gall bladder removed.  Again, tried to do it laproscopically, ended up having to cut me open.  The scar tends to scare young children.

2012- no surgery.  That makes it a beautiful year in God's world, be sure to see the good.

older

When I was younger, I wanted to know more about God.  I wanted to learn all of the right doctrine.  I wanted to be sure that I was right all of the time and had all of the right answers.

Now, I am older.

The more I know, the more I know that I don't know.  I am no longer content to know doctrine.  I want to know God.  I realize that my thoughts about Him can never contain or capture him.  Instead, I want to get lost in the wonder, the joy, the goodness, the glory of our Father.

I know now that I do not and will never have all of the right answers.  But I can point you in the direction of the one who shares our burdens and loves us unconditionally.  For me, that has become enough.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

surprise

The surprise of hospitality.  It is odd, but when someone is nice to us, when someone is kind or hospitable, it can almost be surprising.  We are so used to being stepped on by others and ignored, sometimes kindness is unexpected.

Try it yourself.  Start practicing radical hospitality.  Go out of your way to be kind to everyone.  They will be pleasantly surprised, and you will find life much more enjoyable.  It is surprisingly fun to be hospitable.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

the last time

Do you remember the last time someone talked to you?  They left you with a feeling.  A good feeling or a bad feeling.  Someone talked to me a couple of years ago- it was rough.  I remember it well.  It has left a painful feeling with me for several years.  Every time I think of them, I remember the last time we talked and what they said.

I suspect that it can be a positive thing as well.  If someone leaves you feeling joyful and happy, then your last encounter with them will always be remembered as a good one.  You will think of them and be happy.  [Betty you are this kind of a person.]

Now, imagine who you will talk to today.  You are leaving an impression.  Are you touching them with grace or with judgment?  Will your words mark them for good or ill?  You have a chance today, and so do I to bless everyone that we come in contact with.  I'm in.  Let's go love someone for Jesus.  Two years from now, they will remember what we said and how we said it.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

feeling good

Having had a bout with a bad knee has reminded me of something very important in life.  The gift of health.  We take it for granted all of the time.  We just expect that we will always feel good.  Then when we are sick, we sometimes even feel resentful that we are under the weather.

Good health is a great blessing.  Although being sick helps us to appreciate being well, we should always appreciate and be thankful for feeling good.

Thank you Lord that I am healthy today.  I do not have a cold, and my knee is feeling much better.  Thank you.

What do you have to be thankful for?

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

my knee

Several have asked what is going on with my knee.  Well, me and my knee have 55 years of history together.  The first 21 were very good.  The last 34 have been touch and go.

I hurt my knee when I was 21, playing intramural football in college.  I went out for a pass, dove to catch it, and was landed upon by the defender, who later became my room mate and dear friend.  In that encounter I am sure that cartilage was torn.  I ended up at the hospital.  They told me that they could cut me from mid calf to mid thigh, but that I was so young, they wanted to give me some time to see if it healed.  Arthoscopic surgery did not exist back in the dark ages.

Well, it did heal, sort of.  It has never been right.  I have hurt it several times over the years.  Several times in softball, and several times painting the house.  Five years ago I had it scoped.  They told me then that if I came back to them, they would want to replace the knee.

So, it has been so long since I hurt it, and I have been feeling so good, I totally forgot how fragile it is.  When I was on my reading week in the California redwoods a month ago, I decided to exercise every day.  So I got up early and ran every day.  It felt great.  Until I woke up on the 4th day and my knee was as big as a watermelon. 

I have been on steroids to keep the swelling down.  I have been icing it. It is feeling better.  I know that I did not hurt it, I just aggravated it.  So, all is well, it is feeling better every day.  And now you know, the rest of the story.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

sleep

Lately I have been having trouble sleeping.  It is unusual for me.  I find myself going to bed at 10 or 11pm and waking up at 3:30 or 4am.  Sometimes when you wake up, you know that you are done sleeping.  This is what has been happening to me.

I am not sure what to think about it, or what it means, but I am getting a lot more done during the day, simply because the days are longer.  Maybe that's not a bad thing.  Every cloud has a silver lining.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

maturity

I no longer remember where I read this, but it has become one of my favorite quotes.

"Spiritually mature people are those who have learned to set aside their own comfort and personal preference for the sake of the mission."

How do you deal with change?  How are you interfacing with the mission?  Is your life mission aligned with God's mission, or do you prefer something different?

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

church growth

I have two thoughts on church growth.  The first thing that is needed for your church to grow, is for the church to be doing the right things.  Good preaching, solid programs, strong missions, all taking place within a healthy culture.  The concept of healthy culture we will discuss another day.

If all of that is taking place, I believe that most churches will grow unless something gets in the way.  There are all kinds of things that can get in the way and be a barrier to growth.  If you don't have enough places to park, enough seats at the prime service times, if you don't have adequate access to your building, all of these will hinder growth.  Barriers must be removed, at any cost.

Sometimes folks ask me why growth is important at all.  The answer is that growth is about reaching people.  Humans.  Souls.  Jesus asked us to go and make disciples.  Not just enough so that we can pay the bills, not just enough that we feel comfortable, but to win everyone that we can, every time that we can.  That is our mission.  It is what Christians are supposed to be doing.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

annoyed

I am annoyed.  Annoyed with myself.  Because, occasionally, for no particular reason, I get annoyed.  Over the smallest things, the dumbest things.  I can feel it coming on, and I try, but usually I cannot stop it.  Somewhere down inside, it is still about me, I guess.

Life is too good and life is too short to be bothered by the little things.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.  An hour from now, I am going to be embarrassed because I allowed this thing to annoy me.

Keep at it.  Don't give up.  Today is another day.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

Heartache

Since I spilled my guts yesterday, let me tell you something else.  What do people think of pastors?  Are they cool?  Boring?  Irrelevant?  Do they have an easy job?  Do they have a hard job?  Whatever people think about pastors, sometimes there is a lot of heartache.

When you have to visit with someone who had a terminal illness.  When you visit with someone who has a sick child.  When you visit with someone who is dealing with unfaithfulness or divorce.  When you have to bury those that you personally love, there is heartache.

I thank God that His shoulders are big.  Big enough to cry on.  I thank God that He is always there, always ready to comfort us.  He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

It is a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.