More on friendship

One of my favorite movies of all times is Dances with Wolves.

During times of pain we lean on our friends for support.  I am thankful for my friends.  I often think of the final scene of the movie when Wind in his hair cries out from atop a bluff:

"Dances with Wolves
I am Wind in his Hair.
Do you see that I am your friend?
Can you see that I will always be your friend?"

Here is the video clip if you wish to watch it. Tell your friends that you love them.

click here to watch the scene

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Friends forever

A month ago I had breakfast with a friend. We spent a half hour catching up then he shared with me a grief.  One of his friends has set him aside - throwing him away. His "friend" told him that we can’t be friends anymore. 

That really hurts. I know that hurt because it happened to me many years ago. After my friend threw me away I grieved for a year, but I also actively worked to make new friends.  Whenever I sat down with the people that I was becoming friends with I told them that we had to make a deal.  You’ll be my friend forever. No matter what - I will not throw you away.  No matter what you will not throw me away.  I will always be there for you and you will always be there for me. 

It doesn't erase the hurt of losing a friend, but it makes the new relationships feel more secure.   Please don't ever throw your friends away.  Work thru it.  Relationships are too important.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

With

Profound thoughts from my friend Pat...

I recently heard a program on the Economist podcast about the increasing loneliness of people world wide. The problem is especially acute among American males: we don’t make or keep friends very well. SNL hit a nerve with this skit(a warning, its condescending(not crude) but art makes its point by being extreme: Here’s a link(its 2 minutes and funny) https://youtu.be/9XOt2Vh0T8w

The most important word in the Bible is not love, its with. Christ didn’t say, I love you, he said “I am with you”. You can’t see love: you can only see with. You can’t see beliefs, you can only see deeds.

If you haven’t recently, invite someone to coffee, or to play golf, or for lunch. (Start with small steps) If you’re turned down, try again, try elsewhere. Join a group, go to a lecture, talk to your neighbor, more; ask someone how they like their truck; volunteer, anywhere; call an old high school friend; join a book club; take your dog to the dog park; talk to the lady(or man) at QT; compliment a stranger; go outside and pick up trash; take your headphones off at the gym and ask someone about their workout; surprise someone with an unexpected gift; take an adult ed class on auto mechanics, or cooking, or whatever. If you need more ideas, write me(patstarke@msn.com)

These are a type of “deeds” Christ meant. Its how we can be with others. Do it every day, all day. Ignore failure. Sure you’ll skin your knees, but did that ever stop you from getting back on your bike? Too much fun to be had not to.

We are born with someone, we die alone. There’s no reason to start death early by self inflicted loneliness. God didn’t want us to be alone. That’s why he gave us the gift of each other. Shouldn’t you use his gifts?

Someone out there is waiting for you.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Jesus Wept

At my friend Chuck's memorial service the pastor mentioned the death of Lazarus.  It reminded me of the shortest scripture in the bible:   "Jesus wept."  John 11:35

The next verse is really cool,  "The Jews said, see how he loved him."  John 11:36

We all wept at Chuck's service.  We all loved him.  

People die all the time and we don't cry because we didn't know them.  But when someone that we love dies, we cry.  In fact, the depth of the tears, the depth of the grief is proportional to the size of the love.  If you are really hurting over something, there was most likely some pretty serious love.

Look how much we loved that person.  Look how much that relationship meant to us.

In your grief, I reach out to you with a hug.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

whoops

Good afternoon friends. I want to thank those of you who have offered to go visit Carlotta in the hospital. Evidently I spoke too soon. I was exercising wishful thinking. Due to the Covid up surge the hospital is not letting anyone in at this time. Thank you for your love

Love

Cathy and her mom Carlotta.

Sometime yesterday, my 86 year old mother in law, Carlotta Belcher fell down the stairs.  This is a half flight of stairs, but there is no carpet on them, they are wooden stairs.  She broke her face and her sinus cavity. She broke her hand.  She has a small brain bleed.  They are running an MRI on her pelvis.

And our friends have come out of the woodwork.  Everyone remembers Carlotta from Alli's wedding and Jenny's wedding.  She is a hoot.  86 years old and still playing pickleball.  

Several people have asked me what they can do.  I would say this:  Go to the Olathe Medical Center ICU.  Tell them that you are a lay minister, here to visit Carlotta Belcher.  Take her a card.  Take her some flowers.  Take her hand and tell her that you are friends of Jeff or Cathy or both.  Tell her that we all love you.

To take someone's hand and tell them that you are here for them is so very very powerful.  Next time I am in the hospital, I hope that you will come see me and hold my hand. 

To be there for another person is an amazing and wonderful thing.  Please keep Carlotta in your prayers.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

You've got to love this!

One of the best, funniest Christmas decorations I have ever seen.

So I was driving on Colbern Road in Lees Summit and I saw this on the north side of the road across from the Windsor subdivision.

For 5 seconds my brain went, "WHAT???"

Then I started to laugh.  I loved it.  Hope it gives you a chuckle.

The lights half strung and hanging down are a good touch.  I will def consider for next year.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Christmas ups and downs - the two sides of Christmas

Christmas happy.  Inflated, full, joyful.  Family in.  Singing.  Joy to the world.

Christmas is over.  Exhausted.  I ate way too much.

If you are feeling the ups and downs of Christmas, enjoy the ups, but don't let the downs bring you down.  Emotions are fickle.  

Good/bad, happy/sad... It all comes with the territory.  Enjoy the ups, brush off the downers.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

For the good

My friend Kim reminded me of the song from the musical Wicked, the title of the song is "for good." Here are the lyrics...

I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn.

And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.

It well may be
That we will never meet again in this lifetime.
So, let me say before we part:

So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart.

And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

I have been changed for good.

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done,
You blame me for.

But then I guess,
We know there's blame to share.

And none of it seems to matter anymore.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
(Like a ship blown from its mooring)
As it passes the sun.
(By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder
(Like a seed dropped by a bird)
Halfway through the wood.
(In the wood)

Who can say if I've been changed for the better.
I do believe I have been changed for the better.

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

Because I knew you
I have been changed...
For good.

click here to listen to the song

I want to thank each of you for making a difference in my life.  And I try every day to be there for anyone and everyone that I can.  I want to make a difference for you and for everyone.

May we all get up and try to be a force in this life:  for good.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

They monkey and the coconut

I was sad. Someone called me on it. They said, "Jeff, you look sad."   Well, I was sad.

Sometimes things happen that make us sad. But then I realized I can get glad too.  I can be sad, I can be glad.  My choice.

Difficult, hurtful things are sure to come. They will usually drag us down for a bit. But we have a choice to make. We can stay sad or we can get glad.

Anthony DeMello tells the story of the monkey in the coconut tree.  A man is walking by and the monkey throws a coconut at him, striking him in the head.  The man picks up the coconut, cuts it open, drinks the milk, eats the coconut flesh, feels satisfied, and goes on his way.

Note, the man could complain about the pain to his head.  He could be upset with the monkey's intrusion or attack.  But he chooses to do something different.

He takes the hit and sees the good.  A coconut to the head we all get from time to time.  Don't get stuck there.  See the situation.  Drink the milk, enjoy the rest of the coconut and go on your way.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, if we choose to see it.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Joy to the world

A few weeks ago, our family [minus Scott] went to the Disney parks.  I got to see my granddaughter again.  What a cute, delightful little person.

She likes catchup

Baby Bella w Mom Alli

One of the things that touched me in this last picture, is the sheer joy that this child feels.  The red Mickey Mouse bubble machine was the genius of my wife Cathy.  

This is one happy baby!  [16 months now]

We adults should find more joy.  It is all around us.  If we pay attention to the good, we will find the joy.  Jesus told a lot of stories about parties.  We should have more of them.

Don't let the negative parts of life drag you down.  The world is still a bubble machine if we can just get our eyes off of the dirty diapers and focus on the good.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.
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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Take me to church again

Tyler and I were out to breakfast at the IHOP at 17th and US1. Three older folks came in the other door about the time we entered. They were dressed well and had obviously come from church. I asked them if they had been to church and sure enough they had. I overheard one lady say to her husband in regards to the sermon, “I didn’t understand a word that he said, but I was still glad to be there.”

There is something about going to church. Even if the sermon is off, there is something about being with other people that want to love God. There is something about being in the sanctuary. There is something about the stained glass windows. I believe that holy places speak to us, even if you don't get the sermon.  There is something at church that is bigger than the sermon.

Get back in church and take in the ambiance. God is with you.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

A short history of the middle east

So the Jewish people invaded the land of Canaan. They say God gave that land to them. That is their version of the story as told in the Bible. But they invaded the land and they pushed out the Canaanites and the Edomites and the Philistines.  Eventually King David comes along and he was the bomb! His son Solomon built a temple in Jerusalem. The kingdom was at its height under David and Solomon, but it did not last. Eventually the people were conquered by the Babylonians and taken to captivity, but after 70 years they came back, rebuilt the temple and re-inhabited the land.

When the Romans came in they took over in 63 BC and conquered the area.  They named the province Judea because it was the land of the Jews. This persisted until the Jews revolted in 70AD.  At that time the Romans expelled the Jews and renamed the province Palestine after the ancient enemy of the Jews - the Philistines.

Today there is a rivalry back-and-forth between the Jews and the Palestinians. Whatever side of this argument you are on, I just want people to be aware that it was called Judea before it was called Palestine.

We are so worked up about this. The world is so worked up about this. Should America give back Arizona and New Mexico to Mexico? Should Russia give back the Crimea to Ukraine?

Life is complicated and Nations take what they want from each other. It has always been this way. Just ask the Sioux, the Apache, the Iroquois, etc.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

it is a sacred responsibility

I quoted this podcast few weeks ago, but I am going to hit it again today. The podcast is called "Life's Rough Edges" it is a TED talk featuring Nora McInerny. If you have not listened to it, I highly recommend it.

There is another quote from this talk that I loved and hated...

"It is our sacred responsibility to live full lives and to see the good in the midst of difficult and dark times. But it sucks and we hate it."

What a fantastically true statement. We are supposed to see the good, even in dark times. But it is not easy to do. It is hard to force our selves to see and be the good, but it is our sacred responsibility to others to keep after it.

Don't let the bad things keep you down for very long. Spring up and see the good.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Pick 5 Songs

The Five Songs

My friend John Muller loves music. He told me about when he has his friends over to listen to music. Each one brings a jump drive with five songs for the group. Each in turn introduces his songs and they listen to new/old/good music. I love this idea for a party.

When I am at Bruce’s house we always take turns telling Alexa to play a song. When I am in Florida with my buddy Jeff, we also take turns playing songs. And we throw corn hole bags.

Next time you get together with you friends, instead of playing monopoly or clue, take turns telling Alexa to play your favorite songs.

If you need some suggestions here you go:

Brooks and Dunn – Neon Moon
Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb
Meat Loaf – Two out of three ain’t bad.
Quiet Riot – Girls Rock your Boys
Van Morrison – Into the Mystic
Foghat – Slow Ride
AC/DC – Thunderstruck
The Beatles –In my life
Steve Miller Band – Fly like an Eagle
Kool and the Gang – Cherish
Eric Clapton –Wonderful Tonight
Louis Armstrong – What a Wonderful World
Lionel Richie – Hello
The Thompson Twins – Hold me now

Let me know how your party goes...

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Is something wrong?

Something is still wrong.

We can't even let ourselves enjoy Christmas because something is wrong.  My kids did not come to Christmas.  The pie did not turn out.  Stressed out relatives got into a fight.  Sometimes it doesn't feel like the most wonderful time of the year.  We are still worried that something is amiss.

Solaris Electric Van in the
background.  Red Kia where
I stopped to make a text.

So I a week ago I working at a CVS in Orlando for my buddy Derek. I am waiting on electricians to pull some cable. The electricians show up and I go to their van to talk with them. Then I start to walk across the parking lot. I stop halfway across to text my boss and let them know that the desired electricians have finally arrived.

I randomly stop by this red Kia to write the text about the electricians showing up. The owner of the car comes out of the store and she thinks that something is wrong. She says to me, “is there something wrong with me parking there?”

Why do we still think, why do we default to “something is wrong?”

Here is the good news. I got to explain to her that nothing is wrong. I told her who I was working for and why I had stopped by her car. She was relieved.

When you or I can assure another person that nothing is wrong, it makes them happy. It relieves them of their worry. Now the next trick is to learn not to worry in the first place.

Nothing is wrong.

By the way, at Christmas God is telling us, nothing is wrong. All is well. No worries. I got you. You are loved.

Merry Christmas!!!  Take it easy.

No worries my friend. God loves you!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

God's Christmas Message

Most Christians that I know of would tell you that between the two, Easter and Christmas, that Easter is more important.  No Easter, no resurrection, no salvation.

I beg to differ.  I would say this, no Christmas, no life of Jesus, no teachings about love, no Good Friday and thus no Easter.

So Christmas is a vitally important day.  Everything else falls from Christmas.  Also consider this... in sending Jesus, God is saying, "I love you!!!"  God is saying that you are worth it.  God is saying find the joy by following this Jesus into a life of love.

Merry Christmas.  I love you and you are worth it!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Happy Birthday

So a few weeks ago I was on a cruise with my sister Amy.  We got on a tram to ride around the Royal Caribbean island.  Before the tram left, the driver instructed us, "as we pull out today, please join me in singing happy birthday to this lovely lady across the way."  The lovely lady was another Royal Caribbean employee.  [I think that the driver loved her.]

We all started to sing happy birthday to you!!!  It was so sweet!

As the tram passed her, she said, "it is not my birthday, he does this to me a couple of times a day."

I loved that!  I LOVED THAT!!!

Someone going out of their way, multiple times a day, to make someone else feel good.

Happy Birthday to you my friend!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

The $20 club

I have a friend that goes to lunch once a month with four other friends. Each pays for their own lunch. Dutch treat. And, and, and this is what makes this a great story... each brings a $20 bill for the server. So this server who has no idea what their tip will be like… sometimes people don’t tip. What is that about??? Anyway, this server gets a giant tip, more than 100% of the bill.

I would love to start a club like this in Florida or on my KC trips. If you want to join me, let me know. I love spending time with good people, with generous people, and I love blessing others.

By the way, if you are going out to lunch or dinner this holiday season, it may be a good time to start your own $20 club!!!

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure

Too Loud

Evidently, I was too loud.

So I am sitting at breakfast on a cruise ship with my sister Amy. We are drinking coffee and eating breakfast food. We are chatting it up like a brother and sister who have not seen each other in three years.

All of a sudden, the guy at the table next to us pops up, looks at us and says, “I am tired of listening to your conversation.” He walked away.

My sister and I looked at each other with big eyes and thought “what was that about?” The guy's wife stood up and looked at us. I said to her, "I am sorry."   She said, "NO, she was sorry."

The look on her face was the look of someone who had been embarrassed by an unhappy person many times over the years.

Although I used to make a living by talking, we were not too loud that day. He was unhappy about something. On a cruise and so unhappy about something that you have to be rude.

If I was sitting next to people that I thought were too loud, I would just get up quietly and move. He must have something else going on in his life. The look on his wife’s face told us that she has suffered with his angst for years. Such a sad face.

Moral of this story is that if someone is ugly with you, it probably has more to do with what is going on with them than what they think you did.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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I am leading a River Cruise to Belgium and the Netherlands March 19-27, 2022. If you are interested in reading about the trip or joining in, the link is below.

click here for the brochure