Sunday, February 8, 2009

why people don't like cats

I am sure that there are many reasons why people do not like cats. Here is my latest reason:

Last night Lou the dog was out doing his thing. At around 9pm the dog wants in. I open the door to let him in and Tylor the cat runs outside.

Now you have to understand that Tylor and his sister "Princess Kiki" are "inside" cats. They do not have front claws and they have never been outside. Until now. Tylor doesn't just step out, he bolts. He runs to the corner of the yard where the mums and tomatoes grow. I am trying to follow him, but it is pitch black and my eyes have not adjusted yet. Back and forth he runs along the fence line with me in hot pursuit. About the time I have him cornered, he takes off in the other direction. Oh. Did I mention that I just got out of the shower and I am only wearing a bath towel?

The cat is making angry noises. So am I. I am also praying that the neighbors do not look outside. However this ends, it is not going to be good for that darned cat.

Now, I have him. He curls up in that, "ok, I give up" posture. I reach down to grab him, but remember, it is dark. I do not see the upside down tomato cages until one of the cage legs pokes me in the face.

This cat is going to die. Slowly. Now my feet are dirty, my pride is hurt and I am bleeding from just below my left eye.

I give up. Fine, you stupid cat. Stay out all night. I don't care. Maybe one of the local hawks will have you for dinner. I go to the screen door and walk in. He takes this opportunity to come to the door and yowl. I let him in. He immediately runs under the chair. He knows that if I catch him in the next ten minutes, he is a dead cat.

He better not try to sleep on my lap for a very long time.

That is why people don't like cats.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I bet there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there that can relate to your story. I hope you didn't get hurt, but the part where you bent over and found the upturned tomato cages is where I involuntarily broke out in laughter. You would have thought that it would have been the part about you wearing only a towel. What does that say about me? Your story gives me an idea for an evening of fun--people gather to tell their (funny?) cat stories. I think it would be hilarious. Especially if the story tellers got as descriptive as you did with yours. I don't know if I can sit in church this morning and watch you deliver the sermon without the mental image of you running around outside in the middle of the night with just a towel wrapped around you. There better be a very thought provoking message in your sermon or I may just lose it. ; )

Anonymous said...

First, America's Funniest Home Videos comes to mind! Second, when was the last time you had a Tetnus shot? kb

Anonymous said...

What an image! Too bad no one had a camera!! Betty

Anonymous said...

I can't even begin to try and understand or explain your cat's behavior when I can't get rid of that image of you in your bathtowel running after him. That is what I call a kodak moment!! InkyLynne

Anonymous said...

Law of Nature #1: They have four legs. We have two. They will always be faster. Don't chase.

What is it with men and cats? Did anyone in your family SEE the cat run outside? My husband would have looked both ways and shut the door behind him. An hour later I would say, "Has anyone seen Bob?" And he would say, "Huh? Did you check under the bed?" He thinks Bob just needs to go to Jesus.

I am sorry you sustained an injury, but it made for a good laugh. They always seem to know when we are most vulnerable. I'm so glad you didn't lose your bath towel! Whew!