Saturday, June 16, 2007

Thoughts on my father

Dad was born in 1927. He grew up in the middle of the depression. His parents were poor, tho sadly his mother was very wealthy growing up. They lost their money and my grandmother was never a very happy person. Too bad.

Dad's parents did not go to college. His mom stayed at home and his dad was a contractor and worked at the local lumber yard. As soon as he was old enough, they put dad to work. Back then, if you didn't know how to work, you were in for a hard life. That is still true today, tho a lot of people don't seem to get it.

When Pearl Harbor was bombed, Dad tried to enlist. They told him to come back when he was old enough. He served in the Navy towards the end of the war, processing sailors who were coming back from overseas duty. Later he was transferred to Washington DC where he worked in a military photo lab. He processed the first pictures of the atomic bomb.

After Dad was discharged, he attended KU and Drury on the GI bill. He likes to tell the story of drinking his first beer at Romanelli's in Waldo.

At Drury, Dad studied engineering and my Mom. She was the Sig Ep sweetheart one year, and was quite a catch, Dad would say. After Dad graduated, Mom left school and they got married. They moved to KC where Dad held a number of jobs. It was hard for him to keep a job for very long because he was drinking so much.

With two kids in tow, they moved to Midland Michigan where Dad worked at Dow chemical company. By the time we left Michigan their final child, my little sister was born. My first memories of life are in Midland Michigan.

I guess it was bad in Midland, Mom used to tell about how his boss would call and ask where he was at. Mom thought he had gone to work. When ever this phone call came in, she always found him drunk in the local park. Finally, Mom sat Dad down and told him that is he didn't stop drinking that she was going to divorce him.

Mom drank. In fact Mom made her own beer and wine her whole life. But Dad just couldn't do it without losing control. For most of the next 35 years Dad stayed sober thru AA.

Dad stayed to himself. He worked 60+ hours every week. He never came to any of my baseball games and really was not involved with any of us kids until we had grown up.

He sent us all to college, and later in life was good to sit and visit with. He stood by Mom and took care of her when she came down with cancer and died in 1995.

Dad loved Cathy. That meant a lot to me.

Its odd, but my best years with Dad were after Mom passed. We had lunch pretty regularly and he finally started coming out of his shell. I still remember the Easter Sunday afternoon in 1996, after being in church with us that morning, he called me over and said, "Son I am proud of you and I love you."

Dad died suddenly in 2002. He had a heart attack in the parking lot of Romanelli's in Waldo.

I miss my dad. For all of his faults, he taught me a lot of good things. He taught me how to work. He taught me how to treat people with respect. He taught me the skills of a carpenter and a plumber. He was a Christian man.

When I was in my 20's I blamed my problems on him. Maybe all 20 year olds do.

I am way past that now. I am so thankful for a man who went to church with us every time that he could. I am thankful for a man who loved me and was finally able to say it. I take this moment to honor my father, Paul Parmalee Brinkman, Jr.

Thank you, Dad. I love you too and I am proud of you.

It is a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

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