Thursday, September 27, 2007

Tuesday, September 27th, 2005

I don't remember anything about what I did in the morning, but I will remember lunch time until my dying day.

I had gone home for lunch. Always quiet and peaceful when the kids are in school. On the way back to the office I stopped at the mailbox to get yesterday's mail. My cell phone rang.

Now let me tell you something. I have been waiting for a phone call. I know the number by heart and when I pop the phone open, there it is: 756-2255. Dr. Lem's office. Test results.

Every emotion that I have carried for the last 12 days is about to erupt, one way or another. The voice on the other end of the line says, "Jeff, this is Dr. Swartz. Can you hear me alright?"

Yes sir, I can hear you alright. Tell me something.

"Well Jeff, I have good news for you."

GOOD NEWS! I put the phone aside and shouted it outloud. My neighbor was pushing her son in a stroller nearby. I startled her. GOOD NEWS!

Oh, yes. The phone. "Dr. Swartz, what is the good news?" He answered, "Jeff you have sarcoidosis." Thank you doctor, love you doctor, bless you doctor. Have a happy day doctor, I love you doctor. Goodbye.

Now from down in the bottom of my soul there is a cry that is coming out. Tears that have been bottled up for two weeks are pouring out. I am standing in the street next to the mailbox crying like a baby. I don't care who sees! Everyone come out of your houses and cry with me if you want. Heck, let's dance. I have the dancing gene, don't you know.

I am so happy. I am praising God. I have my life back!

I call my wife. She has been waiting too. What a relief..... Only sarcoidosis. We know exactly what that is, because we have been reading on the internet.

I go back to the office. I tell anyone I can find. "I HAVE GOOD NEWS!" Many of my coworkers are in tears now too because they have held my hand while we walked in this dark valley.

[Gosh, two years later I am writing about this, and I am crying and my nose is running.]

Thank God! I have something to say! I am alive! The struggle is over. The fear is gone. God has shown mercy. I am happy as a bee.

Friends, I did not think that I was a bad guy before all of this, but let me tell you something, I am alive as never before. I see every sunrise, I smell every flower, I see every person as a human being. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your love. Thank you God for hearing me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

12 days in September, 2005. That's how the story ends. Happy. Good news. We are alive. Lets see the good. Lets hear the birds sing today. We may not have tomorrow, but we have today.

It's a beautiful day in God's world, be sure to see the good.

5 comments:

Erik B said...

Jeff,
Thanks for reminding me to take the blinders off enjoy today.
This past couple weeks has been a reminder for me to be present,in the moment, with my family and friends.
Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jeff,
My dancing is not a pretty sight! But, cry with you I can; buckets of tears that cleanse the spirit, way down deep. Thanks for the privelege of helping with that act. Thanks for helping us connect more deeply with you. Gotta go blow my nose...by the way, from the time these are written, you must still be on cortisone!
Love,
Glenda

Dave Templeman said...

Praise God! Not just for the joy of two years ago, but for the sorrow leading up to it. The Bible tells us that only in suffering do we become more like Christ. You tell us every Sunday that each day, each moment is a blessing from God and the past two weeks have not only got this macho guy teary eyed, but also ever thankful for all of God's blessings. And thanks be to God for Happy Endings!

terry said...

Picturing you by your mailbox crying made me cry. Thank you for having the courage to share this with us.

Jan R said...

Jeff,
Words cannot describe the multiple feelings of surprise, fear, hope, anguish, sorrow, despair and incredible joy that I experienced as you relived for us those 12 days from two years ago. Even though I knew the ending was a happy one, your skillful word pictures made it seem we were actually experiencing it with you.

How lucky you are to have strong and loving Cathy to lean on. How lucky your children are to have such a wonderful father & mentor. And how lucky are we that God has chosen to keep our friend, fellow singer & spiritual leader in his world a little longer.

Thanks again for sharing.

We love you!!

Now get some sleep! :-)